Boundaries

Friends are like Balloons....

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you  get a second chance, grab it with both hands.  If it  changes your life, let it.  Nobody said life would be easy,  they just promised it would be worth it.    Friends are like balloons; once you let them go,  you can't get them back. So I'm gonna tie you to  my heart so I never lose you. Send this to all your  friends including me and see how many you get  back.   Send this balloon to everybody you like.  You  may also return it to me.   If four balloons are  returned to you, something you have been waiting  for a long time will happen!!!!  Believe me...... It  really happens!  Send a lot of little balloons to your friends!!!

Do you take the Bait?

I started the newest little man in my life  ( Madra....Mah-Drah)   in Puppy Kindgarden today and saw how motivated he was by FOOD, and I was taught to use it to distract him because they sat a very attractive black lab female beside him in class and he was very anxious to play with his new friend...

And I realized while trying to control the little man, that other people and situations can cause us to react, and almost bait us into responding to their argumentative words and feed into their negativity, give them the attention and we have to learn not to respond when such things happen...

I for one will admit that I have done so and when the trainer taught me to not reward negative behavior and I have to learn to apply that to my own life on and off the computer. Let me tell you Madra soon caught on that as soon as he sat quietly and behaved like he was supposed to it was rewarded with some pretty tasty morsels.......

Given that I have four more weeks to go with this class, I am sure there is more for me to learn :-)

Wishing you all a good day.

joan

Every day is special to someone for some reason...

I remember when I was 20 and lost my grandfather and flew home to Ireland to bury him, and I remember being in the back of the car looking at everyone else and being struck by the fact that it was an ordinary day for everyone else who had not lost someone special and was burying them that day...

When we got to the graveyard which is an historical one in Dublin called Glasnevin, and there were two very casual men standing by the gates with shovels over their shoulders and I looked horrified at them and one of my wiseguy brothers responded to my non verbal question by saying *oh he's not the grave digger, he's just filling in for his friend* Using humor to dissapate the sorrow and tension...it worked :-)

Today was a smaller level special day for my daughter, it sounds silly but today I let her shave her legs for the first  time :-) I always told her that she would have to wait until he was 12 which sounded like it was a long time off and guess what, here it is......

I am both happy and sad.... when you have kids, you lose them a little every day, and that's the way it's supposed to be... you are supposed to raise them to be independent...

But it's the way it is isn't it

Joan

Drama......

Drama......

It has come to my attention and the attention of others that there is quite a lot of drama on these blogs......and what disturbed me most was reading a comment by a CALLER, not an ADVISOR and this caller had commented and they said they had been contacted by advisors regarding a blog.....putting this caller between two advisors having issues with each other....

They had been involved in DRAMA by ADVISORS? How unprofessional is that?? How BADLY does that reflect on ALL of us even if we do not engage in such conduct???????? We are judged by the company we keep and so a few behaving like that could give callers the impression thats we are all at it...

KNOCK it off everyone who is being a drama queen and moaning in their blogs and playing the victim card.......

Callers look to us for guidance, readings, and they do not want or need to be involved in the kind of drama that has been going on......between readers, aside from the fact that there is no need  for in fighting...they are PAYING us to act professionally and they have no need to be dragged into ANYTHING, we are supposed to be there for THEM, not THEM for US... ....in my humble....

We are only hurting ourselves in the long term if we continue to engage in such activities not to mention living on our ego's which does not allow for our best work....

We are supposed to be professionals, let's act like it..... Callers should not be dragged into ANY issue between readers.... so KNOCK IT OFF all of you who are engaging in such activities...

Apologies if this blog offends....but i felt that it had to be said...

joan

The Written Word....

can be taken many ways and because it is written down it can be mis-intrepeted when it is being read. We are missing the tone and inflection of the spoken word and even on the phone we can miss out on physical cues that would be added when the conversation is in person....but at least one can hear the tone of the words when on the phone,,

We may all be guilty of misreading the words or the intentions of others when they post in these blogs...

Joan

Blogs

We have been given a wonderful opportunity to express ourselves in these blogs. Some may not share the opinions we have, and while we might not like that we have NO CONTROL over how others perceive what we write. We normally write a blog to share our opinions about things. New ways to look at situations, new ways to work through issus from your past etc.... Things that give advisors and callers alike a window on the person who has written it. That can bring new callers to us or it can alienate people....

Of course it is hard when others respond negatively, of course we are human and want people to like us, validate us, agree with our opinions and that will not always happen.... Sometimes we can LEARN from that, and yet sometimes we choose NOT to.....

I am grateful that the blogs can and have taught me so much and I thank the people who continue to share with us and who have taught me lots...

joan

Joan

One Cannot and Should not ask........

of others a higher standard of behavior than we exhibit ourselves...

If we want to complain about the behavior of others and yet are doing the same thing, even if to make our point and keep asking them to cease and desist by doing the very thing we are accusing them of then we are simply being hypocritical...

Sorry, it's just how I see this.....

Joan

Cancer is...

an invasive disease and in some countries there are concentrated pockets of people who get affected by this horrible and invasive disease. In Ireland the numbers of people on the east coast that have been afflicted has multiplied since the opening of Sellafield in Wales.

Dublin and surrounding counties such as Louth, Wicklow and Meath have had a major increase over the last 30 years and still counting. Anyone who has lived there for any length of time has a much higher risk of becoming sick. In my own family of 12 , who were born, reared and lived in Dublin, Ireland for years ( including parents) aged from 40 through 81 in the last two years alone one case of colo-rectal cancer ( Thank God, he made a full recovery) One case of breast cancer ( just started treatment, hopefully it was diagnosed early enough and we think so!!  ) and a case of suspected cervical cancer ( which has since been cleared (again thank God)

There are of course many other countries that have areas where increased instances of cancer is found based upon nearness to either nuclear facilities or Military bases. I am of the opinion that our governments need to do more to control these kinds of things so that their citizens are not placed in danger based upon where they choose to buy their homes...

Joan

Why do people find it necessary to........

incessantly post the same post repeatedly on the same day? So many great posts become almost annoying losing their message when every time you go to look at the blogs the SAME post has yet again been RE-POSTED ??? What on earth is anyone hoping to gain by this annoying habit? I think it's kind of rude myself :-)

This is not posted to offend, simply to state my own personal opinion of the incessant postings of the SAME posts...

Joan

Modern life has cut many of the............

manners from our everyday life....

I read an article this am on aol talking about new ways to break up that involve ways that would not have been available to us in the past....

I have in the past  broken up by phone and thought that was a little harsh, and at the time I lived 75 miles away from the person, and figured he was not worth 20 bucks in gas at the time but would I go as far as making a youtube video? I am not sure I would...

Would I write it in my blog? That might cause me to wonder if he read it? Since my man cannot even start up, let alone run the computer, I KNOW the answer to that one :-) That is also a little harsh a manner to do the dirty deed...

Maybe face book would do the trick? Changing your status before you tell the other person might not go down well....

How's about a text message? "Me & U R Thru"  Why ever waste vowels and consonants on a person you are done with???

How's about a dear Jane or John email? Sheesh why worry if the computer they got it on can be accessed by their boss??

I know it's a hard thing to do but for gawds sakes people have a little heart and do the dirty deed in a gentler kinder manner, think about how you would feel and then make your choice if that is what you feel you need to or want to do...

Joan

I remember.......

when the pope said a mass in the Phoenix park in Dublin, Ireland in 1979. I got up at about 5am and walked in the dark like a dream with loudspeakers set up to direct you  like some kind of sci-fi movie to see him. And to get to where he celebrated mass among one million other Irish people. It was an amazing experience and is still a strong memory after all these years as I was a child and it moved me to be in the same place as one quarter of the population of Ireland at such an event, I still visit the place every time I go home, the cross that was built for the event.... As a lapsed Roman Catholic who is raising heathens :-) Pope John Paul was special to me and I cried when he died even though I did not know him personally....

Strangely the visit of Pope Benedict XVI to the U.S. is reminding me of that. Even us lapsed Roman Catholics are moved by such things :-)

Joan

I willl be gone from ......

Wednesday April 16th until a week from Monday which is April 28th. I am taking my children to Ireland to visit my mother during school vacation week..... We go this time every year, in fact I feel as if I am only back since the last trip home in February....

So over the next few days Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will be available but after that not for 12 days.

We will miss our new puppy ( his name is madra *mah-drah* ) it's means dog in Irish, he is a field spaniel and he gets bigger even when I do not see him for one day, I cannot imagine what he will be like when I have not seen him for 12 days :-)

Joan

These blogs have become......

quite testy lately. And there is no need for it, people over reacting to some comments, reading some comments the wrong way, taking offense where none may have been meant, copying the blogs of others, people being rude to each other in comeback comments and quite frankly if this kind of stuff keeps up we may well lose the right to blog altogether.

Let's just ALL try to get along here, this ability to blog is a gift, we can share experiences, we can gain or lose customers, it's all in the way we use the ability that has been kindly given to us by keen....

I normally do not blog unless I feel I have something to say, and my blogging ability or writing may not be cared for by some, and that's fine but I think we can all try to do better in the future.......

Joan

The Debate about Illegal Immigration........

has many sides. And I am not sure there is any one easy answer to solving the issue to the satisfaction of ALL involved. There seems to be an increased hatred towards illegals where the impression that many people have is that they come to the U.S. and go on welfare, claim benefits and contribute nothing to the American economy. As an immigrant  ( and let me CLARIFY that I am LEGALLY living and working here and am entitled to do so ) living here I have a slightly different view than others on some if the issues that face illegals, some may agree and some may not. Yet we all have the right to express how we feel about issues and can do so in a respectful manner....even if our opinions differ.

While I can understand why the majority would feel that way, it is not necessarily as cut and dry as that. There are farmers that depend on the labor of illegals and migrant workers to help them with their crops. There should be something in place that would legalize their working during the time of year which is limited to the time that the crop is ready to be picked. IF the crops cannot be taken care of with American Labor.

There are of course visa programs available where employers can get the necessary workers to fill the times they have a NEED for that labor. Some areas of the country such as summer vacation areas have I think what they call H1 visas that are valid for 6 to 7 months of the *season* so that business can have the workers they need available for that crucial time.

In my humble opinion I have an issue with anyone here illegally claiming free rent, free food stamps but place MOST of the blame on the state or town that gives it to them. What ever happened to ASKING where is your PROOF that you have a LEGAL right to BE here, let alone claim these benefits?

I do not like to hear that illegals are commiting crimes and being kept in prison here, why not send them home on their own dollars? There HAS to be a way to send them home and be able to collect the money from their embassies here?  But yet there is a part of me that agrees with their being here and working, since the economy most likely could not function without some outside help, some workers who are allowed to be here on a temporary basis or move from place to place when the NEED arises, yet some people do not agree with that, thinking all illegals are milking the system and claiming benefits when some are here working hard, but only on the basis of them being legally allowed to do so, some kind of waiver visa program.The issue is not just the illegals it is the people who hire them, who is mowing your lawn, cleaning your house, who is minding your children? It's really NOT a simple issue, really not a one stop fix it move, there are so many variables to be taken into consideration, and aint no fence going to fix it......and kicking them all out aint gonna fix it either...

Joan

Say what you NEED to say.........

I have always loved music and have different tastes from traditional Irish music and opera, disco, you name it I like some if it.

I love songs that the words touch me, and one lately is from the Movie *The Bucket list* and while I have not seen the movie the words of the Song really touch me. It is one of my greatest faults, I do not express what I NEED to and while that might seem completely unlike me I use passive agressive tendencies when faced with a situation at times. And afterwards I go over and over what I should have said when if I faced it head on said what I needed to say ( regardless of what is said in return, if you say what you NEED to say, without expectations, you are way ahead of the issues the leaving things unsaid may cause for you in the future). You can of course express yourself without anger, without being mean, and simple stating how you feel about the situation...