Random Ramblings from Lil Mel

No Tricks LOTS of Treats from Advisor Lil Mel!

Advisor Lil Mel — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:34:00 GMT

No Tricks LOTS of Treats at

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

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Check Out Our Pre-Halloween Treats!

Check out these exciting Treats:

Complete, Copy & Paste, and Email to me the survey below for Free Minute!
Get Free Minutes! Make a Call lasting a minimum of 15 minutes you will receive Free Minutes toward your next call!
Reduced Listing Price on Main Listing throughout October!
Just in Time for Halloween! Host a Psychic Telephone House Party and receive a total of 15-Free minutes!! HOW IT WORKS: Arrange a date & time with Advisor Lil Mel--she will reduce her per-minute-price to 2.50 per minute for the duration of the party! Invite 6-10 of your friends or family, put out some snacks & drinks, designate a quiet place for readings, and have a blast! Invite your friends to participate at reduced rate of $2.50 per minute, gather everyone together, call Advisor Lil Mel at the pre-arranged scheduled time (rate will be reduced to $2.50 for the duration of the party) and conduct the readings via the telephone! After the party you will be sent (3) 5-minute readings for FREE! (Minimum of 6 guests required or 60 Minutes of Scheduled Time to Qualify for Reduced Rate! Additionally, reduced rate is for duration of party and with prior arrangements.)

{These specials expire on Oct 31, 2008!}

Even though may not need our services at this time, please participate in the survey so that we can better serve your needs.

Have a wonderfully spooky month!

Thank you,

Melody (Advisor Lil Mel)

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

Available daily from 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. CST, with breaks as needed throughout the day. If showing as unavailable, please place a call back to ensure we connect.

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Tribute to October and Candy Corn!

Advisor Lil Mel — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:52:00 GMT

Salutations to All!

The great month of October has arrived! This month has not only brought with it a huge front of cool, Canadian air, but also a good amount of that earlier nightfall that relieves those of us who live in fear of the Earth spiraling out of its orbital pattern.

October is, indeed, one of my favorite times of the year; not just because of it’s the month of my eldest child's birth, but because it’s the month of the harvest moon, Homecoming games, Apple-cider, Baseball play-offs and Football broadcasts every weekend. Certainly, if there was a month that I would define as wholly American, it would be October.

And there is nothing more American, or more October-y, than Candy Corn. Although the invention of the candy is shrouded in the shadows of history, the first commercial production of the hallmark corn started in Philadelphia in 1898. Since then, the recipe of sugar, water, and corn-syrup has remained relatively unchanged, and, somehow, has wedged its way into its place as the staple of Halloween hand-outs. (Halloween sales accounts for 75% of the annual production of 20 millions pounds of candy corn—my teeth hurt just thinking about it!)

For those of you who can’t get enough candy corn, there’s plenty of variety associated with various Holidays:

Halloween Candy Corn (White, Orange, Yellow)

Thanksgiving Indian Corn (White, Orange, Brown)

Christmas Reindeer Corn (White, Green, Red)

Valentine’s Day Cupid Corn (White, Pink, Red)

Easter Bunny Corn (Varies between Yellow, Pink, Green, Blue, Purple and White)

I’m surprised they don’t have a Freedom Corn (Red, White, Blue) for July 4^th, but, considering Candy Corn’s staying power, I imagine it’s not far off. (Let’s just hope they don’t come up with a President’s Day corn made of Old Hickory, Wooden Teeth, and Teddy Bears). Although I personally hated finding the candy in my trick-or-treat pumpkin-bag, I pay my respects to the great sugar-sweet facsimile of our native cereal staple.

Wishing all a happy, prosperous, and productive October!

Melody (Advisor Lil Mel)

NOTE: I will be available here on Keen to take your calls most days from 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. CST with breaks as needed. As always, if I am showing as not available place a callback and I will sign on as soon as possible to take your call. Additionally, I have lowered my normal price to $3.99 through mid-October as well as giving FREE minutes to all calls lasting a minimum of 15 mintues!

What's Your Favorite Quote?

Advisor Lil Mel — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:38:00 GMT

Be it an inspirational quote or a funny one, what's a quote that stuck with you, made you think of something from a different perspective or even just made you smile?

One of my favorite quotes is attributed to a movie, spoken by one of my favorite actors, and made a profound impact on me as a young girl; becoming my motto on ‘life’.

”I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." ~John Wayne~ (The Shootist)

What's one of your all time favorite quotes?

Please let me know by using the comment link below.

Blessings,

Melody (Advisor Lil Mel)

Advisor Lil Mel is a Life Coach, Author, and Spiritual Advisor. Her private practice includes an Internet outreach program that offers professional coaching, counseling, consulting, and spiritual guidance. She is the author of Sweet Tea for the Soul and Ramblings from the Heart.

Let's Just Kiss & Say Goodbye...

Advisor Lil Mel — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 15:14:00 GMT

Two people I care about very much are splitting up.

It's so very, very sad.

There isn't any earth shattering reason why. He isn't a monster, and nor is she. They're just two very decent, kind people who simply got to the end of their relationship.

They want very different things out of life now. After years of coasting along secretly hoping it would get better, I think they finally realized that it wasn't going to. If anything, it was starting to get a lot worse.

They are just not compatible any more. They've decided to end their relationship whilst they are still on friendly terms.

I've given them a lot of thought over the last few days. I give relationships in general a lot of thought! What came to me this morning was this.

We owe it to ourselves, our partners and our children (if we have any!) to stay in touch with who we are and what we want at all times. We have to be prepared to work at our happiness not just in our relationships but in our lives generally. It's everyone's responsibilty to speak up when things aren't ok. It's not enough to just be in a relationship - we have to feed it, challenge it and keep it alive and growing.

It's so much easier sometimes to do nothing - to drift. To simply coast along because it's too hard and takes too much energy to do anything else.

In relationship terms that's disastrous. Nothing kills intimacy more than lack of attention and apathy. Relationships need nurturing and prioritizing on a regular basis - no matter how busy, tired or pre-occupied we are with life.

I read somewhere recently that the average couple spends about three minutes a day in conversation with each other. That's barely enough time to say change the channel. It's definitely not enough to maintain a meaningful, loving connection.

I will be available to take your calls here on Keen throughout the weekend. If I am on a break or on another call please place a callback to ensure we connect. With the summer season in full swing my schedule on Keen will vary from day to day as I make time for myself and my family--as we all should do! I will try to log on for a period of time each day and constantly check for callbacks! Have a wonderful funfilled weekend!

Blessings,

Melody "Lil Mel"

Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

Loving an Addict...

Advisor Lil Mel — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:12:00 GMT

Addiction, in all its forms, is widespread in our communities. No doubt you will know someone with an addiction problem, or someone close to you will. (Keep in mind, addiction comes in many forms; alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling—just to name a few.)

Often people will ask me for help not with their addiction problem, but in dealing with their partner’s problem. It’s one of the toughest issues for people to live with. That’s because the partner of an addict is always at the mercy of the addict’s behavior. Some days are good; some days are dreadful you never know what you are in for. Coping with that must be extraordinarily difficult.

At the end of the day, someone with addiction issues is powerless over their substance use until they make a decision to stop. Their partners have even less power. Really the only effective way of managing the situation is to emotionally detach from their using, and ultimately that will be the beginning of the end. That is, unless the addict agrees to get help.

Addictions ruin relationships. An addict is unable to connect emotionally with themselves, let alone anyone else. People abuse substances to escape what’s going on inside of their head. An addict is completely emotionally unavailable. In relationship terms, the addiction will always come first.

If you know someone who lives with an addict, support them to get strong enough to make powerful decisions about their future. I won’t ever tell anyone what to do. I will, however, let them work through their options and decide what’s best for them. Eventually, it will be obvious-- me or the substance. It takes real strength and support to get to that, though. It’s never too late.

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available for calls throughout the day and evening. If I am showing unavailable, on a call, or otherwise on a break, please place a callback to ensure we connect. I look forward to hearing from you today! Blessed be...it's a wonderful life I lead!

Losing my heart to the new 'man' in my life!

Advisor Lil Mel — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:58:00 GMT

One does not reach my age without losing pieces of the heart along the way, however, being the strong southern woman that I am, I have always managed to hold onto my heart; only loaning it out for special occassions!

Well folks, that was until yesterday. I have finally met my match! From the moment he was placed in my arms, my heart truly belonged to him!

My FIRST Grandchild! "Ayden Ray" arrived at 11:43 a.m. yesterday morning, weighs 8 lbs, and 21 1/2 inches long....he has completely captured my heart! Just like his father, my son, he has a headfull of beautiful black hair, a button nose, and all his fingers & toes! And his smile......oh wow, watch out ladies--he is his father's son! :)

Naturally this is an exciting time for all of us...so keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Also, my availability will be sparadic the next few days, but I will do my best to be available for your calls.

As a matter of fact, I will be available for calls this morning and early afternoon, and then again later this evening after yoga class. As always feel free to place a callback to ensure we connect! I look forward to sharing with everyone today!

Blessings...and it truly is a wonderful life I have!

Melody "Lil Mel"

Bouncing Back after a Relationship Crisis...

Advisor Lil Mel — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:01:00 GMT

I've just received a truly inspiring email from a client who had been having a relationship crisis.

She wrote to tell me that things are going well for her again, after much pain. I have asked her if I can share her story with you, in the hope that it will inspire others.

She has been through a lot lately. She had some big decisions to make about the future of her relationship, after some painful discoveries about her partner’s behavior.

After much heartache, growth and introspection, they have both decided to work it out together and work through their relationship crisis. Their relationship and life are on the mend.

Although it will take some time and talking through, they are rebuilding their relationship, putting the crisis behind them. She reports she can now see a future together and a way through the pain. Hugely courageous of both of them and a testament to the love they have for each other.

Relationships can recover from a crisis such as theirs. Often in fact, they are stronger, more on track and more connected than they ever were. Sometimes the crises can serve as a wake up call for both parties, and the passion, love and commitment is re kindled.

The relationship evolves to a new, enlightened level. Aren’t happy endings great?

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available for calls here on Keen throughout the weekend with breaks. If I am showing unavailable or on a call, please place a callback to ensure we connect.

I look forward to sharing with everyone this weekend.

Family Matters...

Advisor Lil Mel — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:15:00 GMT

Families play a huge role in relationships. Sadly, it’s not always a positive one.

Like it or not, we’re all part of an extended family network. That network can be a source of love and support, or it can be a source of hurt, resentment and disappointment.

All too often, family conflict is a major source of stress in a relationship. Couples can inadvertently find themselves in the middle of something that can completely destabilize them as individuals, and them as a couple. Rather than supporting and providing comfort, families can make a couple feel torn and unsure of what to do.

It’s never easy working through such situations. It’s usually complicated and messy, and there often isn’t a clear cut way to resolve it without someone getting hurt.

Having said that, there’s a simple and effective way of managing a situation to ensure the least amount of damage is done to the couples’ relationship.

It’s this. The couples need to have a united approach to dealing with each of their families. Independently of any problems, they need to commit to making each other the first priority and be prepared to defend that commitment with action when necessary.

Long term committed relationships form family units separate of the extended family. Even without children they are their own nuclear family. Extended families should be just that – an extension of that relationship. They should support it and not look to undermine it. That relationship takes precedence over any other. It has to. Without that focus the intimacy and connection will be worn away.

Couples embroiled in bitter family disputes should ask themselves a powerful question. “What thoughts and actions put my relationship first?” Adopting that mindset first and foremost puts things into perspective.

At the end of the day, holding firm and true to what you want and believe in is always the best option.

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available throughout the day and evening for your calls. If I am on a break or on another call, please place a callback to ensure we connect. I look forward to sharing with you today!

Emotional Honesty

Advisor Lil Mel — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:27:00 GMT

Often in the desire to find or maintain a relationship, many folks fall into the trap of being and doing things which aren't aligned with who they really are. What starts out as a small sacrifice can become a regular habit - giving in to please your partner. To be happy long term, all of us have to not only know ourselves well, but live and act in accordance with our authentic selves.

I call this being "emotionally honest". It sounds easier than it is. We are all conditioned that in order to be happy, we have to be flexible and willing to compromise in a relationship. I was somewhere recently where a woman said the secret to a happy marriage was to let her partner have the final say, to let things go.

I believe there's an important distinction that needs to be made here - it depends on what you are compromising on.

If we compromise on something things that matter deeply to us, we will eventually end up unhappy. If you are single and compromise on a less than ideal partner, the doubt and uncertainty will wear down the intimacy. If you are in a relationship and continually give in on what to you are important issues, you will lose respect and feelings for both yourself and your partner.

That's where emotional honesty comes in. By all means compromise, just not on the big stuff. You can't afford to. Continual half truths or agreements that you aren't happy with leads to resentment, unfulfillment and an erosion of intimacy. Don't think your partner will thank you for it either. Almost always the other person says they would far rather have known the truth at the time.

The idea then, is to know yourself well and follow through on that - make who you are and what you want an intrinsic part of how you behave. Let that be your guide, even if it means short term pain. Be honest with what is going on for you, and be clear with your partner or prospective partner the reasons why. More than anything, being true to yourself is where happiness starts.

When you do that consistently, you're then in a position to start giving and connecting with them from a position of strength and from a happy inner self. "To thine own self be true". Good words to live by.

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available to take your calls on Keen throughout the day and evening, with short breaks. If I am on a break, on another call, or showing as unavailable, please use the callback feature to ensure we connect. I look forward to sharing with you today!

My Apologies...

Advisor Lil Mel — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:19:00 GMT

I would like to extend my sincere apologies for not being available here on Keen the last few days. I had intended to post an announcement that I was going out of town to work a charity event on Thursday, but time slipped past and I forgot to post the announcement!

The event was hosted in the town of Woodstock IL, a quaint historical town that is known for the filming of the movie Groundhound Day. The town itself was beautiful and the folks friendly and down-to-earth. I was treated to a stay at the Bundling Bed & Breakfast--absolutely adorable accomendations and the host was very accomendating, attentive, and a great cook! The event went very well with a turn out even bigger than we anticipated! Hosted by Courthouse Bar & Grill, once the jail and courthouse. If you are ever in Woodstock IL please check it out--the building itself has a very interesting history, a few spirits, and great food & service! We surpassed our set goals and a good time was had by the guests and vendors alike. However, after conducting nonstop mini-readings and signing books non-stop for 6 hours in one sitting I was totally wiped out! I returned home yesterday but took the evening off to recharge!

I will be available for calls here on Keen throughout the rest of the weekend with short breaks in between. If I am showing unavailable, please feel free to place a callback to ensure we connect!

I look forward to talking with you this weekend,

Melody "Lil Mel"

Arguments are OK

Advisor Lil Mel — Mon, 26 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

I’ll often get a call from someone telling me they are worried about the constant arguing and hostility in their relationship. No one wants hostility that’s for sure, and that needs attention. But I don’t think arguing deserves the bad press it gets.

Everyone argues. Well, everyone should. By arguing I mean an exchange whereby two people disagree. Actually, I worry more about the relationships that have no arguments at all – at least when people are arguing; they’re engaging one another and expressing how they feel about things. It worries me far more when people have a history of arguing and one or both simply opts out. That can signal the start of being completely detached, and that’s never a good sign.

The focus shouldn’t be on whether a couple argues or not, but how they argue. I know a couple that are a great example of good arguing. The two of them are constantly on at each other about something. To outsiders, it looks like an awful way to live. But most of the banter is good natured and humorous and is an integral part of how they relate to each other. Wouldn’t work for me, but the point is it does work for them. They have a close, loving relationship – they care deeply about each other.

Challenging each other and speaking your mind are positive things – no one should be quick to shut the other person down or negate their point of view. Everyone should watch their language and personal insults though. If people spent more time speaking about how they feel and what they want and far less time criticizing and telling the other what to do, fallout in arguments would be far less.

Humor is a great tool in an argument – keep it light. Sometimes I think the worst fallout from arguments is simply misinterpretation – getting the message wrong. When in doubt, assume the best and most of all – listen more than you speak.

Lighten up, I say. See the bigger picture. Arguments aren’t the end of the world or the end of the relationship. Sometimes we all just need to let off steam.

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available for calls throughout the day today. If I am showing as unavailable please use the callback feature to ensure we connect!

When 'the one' doesn't show up in a reading

Advisor Lil Mel — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:43:00 GMT

It is common in this profession to get the age-old question, "when will I meet 'the one'", or "when will he/she be back?", or "can you tell when my next relationship will be?".   Then as we tune into the situation, either using a tool or not, 'the one' does not show up!

As I try to keep my readings to project no more than 6 months out, often times 'the one' does not appear in the reading! Or perhaps the reading reveals very little in the area of romance/relationships but shows other things.   How many readers and clients have this happen?

Does this mean that the reader is not accurate in picking up the situation? No, not at all. In many cases 'the one' isn't just around the corner or the 'past lover' will not be back around in a timely manner. Most often than not, the client has work to do in order to prepare and open themselves up to the possibilities of romance, love, and relationships.

For example, a client calls me and wants to know when she will meet 'the one'... as the reading unfolds it is revealed that said client's life currently revolves around work & home--period! No socialization, no outside activities, very little friendships outside the occassional lunch shared with a co-worker. Now I am a true believer in divine intervention, but let's be real, unless one is actively living life and out & around, heartmates and/or dates do not suddenly appear on our doorstep!

For the clients that request these type of readings and do not get the results they long for; look around...

Is there something you should be doing to change the course of events?   Look inward--is there unresolved issues that may be blocking you from meeting healthy partners? Are you truly involved in living life and open for what the universe brings to you?

For the advisors who have those readings when 'the one' is no where in sight; be truthful with the client and be prepared to look and see what the client can do to change the situation.

Remember folks, nothing is carved in stone and we are here to help enlighten and bring insight into your lives--it is up to you to live them! :)

I will only be available this morning and afternoon for Keen calls. I will be traveling this evening so I won't be able to take calls or reply to emails until tomorrow. Please feel free to place a callback to ensure we connect.

Have a wonderfully blessed today!

Melody "Lil Mel"

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor
Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I am available this morning and afternoon...

Advisor Lil Mel — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:59:00 GMT

As stated in my previous post, I am out of town until Friday. However, I will be signed on for calls this morning and afternoon as I am able. Additionally, I will sign on for calls tomorrow in the morning and afternoon.

For those interested in hearing how my reunion is going thus far, please refer to my comments on previous post.

Have a wonderful day and I hope to connect with many of you this morning and afternoon!

Blessings,

Melody "Lil Mel"

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor
Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

Old friends, lovers, and reunions...

Advisor Lil Mel — Mon, 19 May 2008 15:20:00 GMT

Many cases I deal with in my practice deal with break-ups, breaks, separations, and two people destined to travel different paths for a period of time. Whether it is a soul mate, twin flame, heart mate, romantic interest or otherwise, there are times in our lives when someone we care for deeply has to leave our lives and travel a different path.

At this point we have several choices, we can literally 'sit & wait', pining away for something that we know in our hearts and gut is 'meant to be'; placing our life on hold and live in a vaccum until destiny brings him/her back again.

Or we can trust in the workings of the universe, detach from the situation, get busy with living our lives, and know that when the time is right we may have the chance again to reunion and travel once again with our heartmate.

By doing so, moving forward, we are opening ourselves up to a multitude of opportunities in all areas of our lives. You may even meet someone new and fall in love, travel the journey of life with them for a period of time, or even build a new life with them. As there are no random acts and everyone crosses our paths for a reason, the possibilities are endless!

As for me personally...

It has been more than 15 years since someone I felt was part of my destiny choose to travel a different path and left my life to create one of his own. Although it took quite some time to heal and begin the process of living life again (as I truly felt destined to be with this person), I gradually practiced what I teach and moved on with my life. In the past 15 years I managed to go back to school, earning several degrees, raised my children, finished a military career; I even met and fell in love with a wonderful man I had planned to marry! Although my plans to marry were cut short via a fuel tanker truck on a dark road late one night, the memories left in my heart have forever changed me. I have grown and evolved so much these past 15 years--as it should be!

Present day: I have since reconnected with my love from the past. After a vast amount of conversations, readjusting our schedules, and talking through our fears--I will be leaving today to meet him face-to-face for the first time in 15 years!

While I do not know what the future holds....ok, I have some idea as I am psychic and have an awesome personal reader...I am excited to be setting forth on what is to be yet another part of my destiny.

I share this portion of my personal life with you today, simply to remind everyone that things really do happen as they are meant to be, and to sit and wait for something to happen is to be stagnate and interfers with growth and happiness.

Additionally to let everyone know that I will not be available for calls today or tomorrow. I will accept callbacks on Wednesday & Thursday during the day as he will be at work during those times.

If time allows I will pop on the blog to up date everyone.....:)

Have a wonderful blessed day!

Melody "Lil Mel"

Let's Talk About Sex....(Again)

Advisor Lil Mel — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:05:00 GMT

So often when the relationship isn’t going so great, sex is suddenly under the spotlight. At that point, sex becomes something to throw at each other, and that’s dangerous territory. We can do great harm to each other when we use sex as a weapon.

So, back to where we started. What to do about it. Firstly, see it in a wider context. What else is going on? If sex is an issue, where are things at? You can’t get to the sex issues without dealing with everything else. One must keep in mind, sex is the end result.

What can you do to ‘fix’ the intimacy, the closeness and caring in your relationship, rather than focusing ‘fixing’ the sex? I’ll say it again – one follows the other.

You can’t be cold and distant or ignore your partner then expect them to be super charged in the bedroom. Likewise, you can’t continually say you don’t want to have sex because ‘you’re not in the mood’. If you aren’t in the mood for weeks or months on end, something else is going on.

Talk about it. You’d be surprised how it helps. Talk about the intimacy, the closeness, not just about sex. Talk about what you can do about it. Make a plan. I’m amazed that people let this one drift on for YEARS. If something was wrong with the kids or the pets, it would be dealt with far quicker.

It’s important. Don’t believe that ‘sex isn’t everything’ nonsense. It may not be everything, but my experience in working with clients tells me it's something!

In my experience, people aren’t expecting to act out some mini porn fantasy every night – they simply want intimacy and closeness on a regular basis and don’t know how to get back to that.

Talk about what would work for both of you. Brain storm ways of spending good close time together – with enough of those, the sex will follow. Plan to put things right in the relationship. How was it when things were good?

Don’t use no money, kids, or work schedule conflicts as an excuse. There are loads of ways to plan a bit of spontaneous fun that doesn’t have to cost the earth. And there is always time for each other, if you are dedicated to finding it! Have a date night at home. Once a week - every week.

Make it a priority. It matters.

Melody “Lil Mel”

Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor

Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching

I will be available for your calls throughout the day with breaks and again later this evening. If I am showing as unavailable, please place a callback to ensure we connect.