Just Making You Think

There Is A Justifiable Reason For obsessive Calling

askdrdonna — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

I have read the other blogs about obsessive calling and I understand where the write is coming from. I also have learned that over the years as a reader and a life coach and that friend that everyone turns to , that it is not an obsession but a need for understanding. When an incident happens in a person's life, it can hit them like a ton of bricks. It can be shocking and scary at the same time. We think that our life is all planned out. we have done the " right " things and all of a sudden, we are slammed!

Being emotionally slammed does send our brain spiraling downward because of the shock to it over " the incident ". That incident can be a death, divorce, adultery, losing a job,etc. No one is prepared for that moment when life turns upside down. When people say to just deal with it they are saying that they have no clue what a person is going through. Some people do just hold it all in and later it manifest in some awful disease of addiction.

When a person is strangling a time frame, they are just saying that they want to find some sanity even if it is in the wrong direction. It is common to outsource for happiness. People do it all the time. It is not healthy but it happens. It is a search for a " high ". A high to end the perceived suffering.

The benefit of being there for a person who calls often is that they are listening subconsciously even if they are arguing or sad on the surface. They call us because they trust us and need an ear. The caller wants to understand but it can take time.The caller must be willing to be patient. I have notice a person will call for a while and then have a calming " aha! " moment. Even if they are getting their predictions in the time frame, they still know that they are looking a calming peace of mind. An understanding.

So when someone calls often, tell them "thank you " for confiding in you and believing that you can help them get to a better state. Tell God thank you for giving you the gift of insight. yes our job is hard and often not appreciated but it is still our job and our choice to do it.

Just Because He Hasn't Called..Does Not Mean That There Is Something Wrong!

askdrdonna — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:44:00 GMT

I must start off saying that I do not care if you call me everyday all day long. YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING! I am here in a non judgemental state and grateful to be of service. If I have learned anything through all of my education and the many seminars is that people must clear their head of their questions and issues. It is necessary to release our stresses. Holding it in and " sucking it up" will cause a person to explode and hold onto subconscious anger and frustration. I have seen many people verbally explode because they are not dealing with their thoughts and they have no one to listen to them. Therefore, I am eternally grateful to be here and let you vent to me. I just want to get this one issue straight for you.

Us women have a need for validation that is holding us back and lowering our self esteem. A lot of women have relied on having a relationship as a measure of our self worth. It is rooted in society that a woman can not be happy or complete without having a man. So when our love interest does not respond to us by calling us often to make us feel " safe " we seem to think that there is a problem. Not necessarily true.

There are many reasons why he has not called. He could be working, tired, busy with life's issues etc. So many people have a sick relative, money issues, stress,etc and they just need alone time. Even worse is when a women calls and he does not pick up the phone, itis assumed that he is avoiding you. He could be busy at the time, on another call, working or even on the toilet. What it boils down to is that a man does not have to be at a woman's beck and call to prove that he is interested.

The best way to deal with him not calling is to realize that it is not necessarily related to not wanting to talk to you. DO NOT LET YOUR MIND WONDER INTO THE NEGATIVE ZONE! Make sure you have cleared past relationship baggage. Raise your self esteem. Know that life will be fine whether he calls or not. Your life is bigger than a relationship. Heal yourself and you will be free from wondering why he has not called.

a Note About Email Questions/Readings

askdrdonna — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 03:03:00 GMT

I do not do email readings because I can not pick up the energy that well be email. I need to hear a voice in order to do the most accurate reading. Besides I hate typing. I have lowered my rates to make sure that it is affordable for this reason. I am sorry for an inconvenience.

Virtual Assistants- A Popular And Upcoming Career

askdrdonna — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:48:00 GMT

I remember a friend of mine mentioning to me that she had a virtual assistant that answered her phones and did some proofreading for her two years ago. I did not understand the concept of having a virtual assistant at the time but now being a virtual assistant is a popular career choice.

WHAT ARE THE DUTIES OF A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT?..................

A virtual assistant will do almost all of the same in office duties just from a distant location. A virtual assistant can be a legal or executive secretary. An administrative assistant. A proof reader. A ghost writer etc. They even answer the phones. I think that the only duty they do not have to do is file.

Pay range is from 7 dollars an hour up to 20 dollars an hour. Some jobs can be a set fee. Many virtual assistants can work for several people or companies on a short to long term basis. All from home. Most virtual assistants live in another state or even a different country from their employer.

There are several sites to find out how to become a virtual assistant or how to hire one. Just google the phrase " virtual assistant ".

NetWorking For Business Success

askdrdonna — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:38:00 GMT

I was thinking about every successful person that I know personally. I noticed that they all had one thing in common whether they were self employed or worked for a company. They were all great at networking.It does not matter that we are in a recession and there are plenty of lay offs. The best way to stay employed is not by just having a fancy resume but by having great contacts that you have met through various networking situations. How do you think top execs and politicians keep working? They know people. Most people who are great at networking never have to interview for a job. Their reputation sells them and people are willing to give them a chance. Some do not even have a great resume or an educational background.

NETWORKING FOR THE SELF EMPLOYED......

Advertising is great to an extent as long as you know your target market. People rather try out a business that was referred to them. Especially if you are a health care professional, a mechanic, hair dresser, nanny or in an industry that deals with a specialty. Hanging up a shingle is not going to work whether the economy is good or bad. People want to know a background and the personality of the people of the company before patronizing it. Customers love personal treatment and want to feel appreciated when patronizing a business. To ensure this experience most people will ask a friend for a referral.

NETWORKING TO OBTAIN EMPLOYMENT......

Most people will find out about a great job not from the internet but from a friend or an acquaintance. This is as close to getting inside information on a job as it gets. By having great contacts, you can find out about a job before it gets posted to the public. In some cases, if you have a great resume and a great personality, you will only have to do an interview as formality because of the contacts that you have established. I have friends who have had jobs lined up for them to choose from even in this economy that pay over 80k a year. They did not have to go job hunting. The job came to them. Some were recruited heavily and were offered a great opportunity beyond their expectations.

HOW TO NETWORK

1. Your friends. Yes this is a great starting point. Your friends have friends and contacts that you do not have. Tell your friends about your actual job. Do not spend it bitching but talk about your job duties. Let them know when or if you are going back to school and what for.Always try to add to your education.The job market is always changing so you must take a class here and there to update your skills. Let them know how you feel about working. Be enthusiastic about your career. People who complain about their job a lot appear to be ungrateful and no one will risk their reputation to refer you.Personality is everything. make sure you make it clear that you love to work. Remember your friend is putting their reputation on the line if they are referring you. DO NOT LET THEM DOWN! You could be burning a dangerous bridge. Sometimes, even at our regular social gatherings, me and my friends will exchange business cards. I found my new employee through a friend. I love her!

2. City Organizations. Chamber mixers are boring but they have great food and you get to meet people in your community. Become a member. Volunteering also establishes you as being community and professionally oriented.

3. Have your own business cards. Business cards are not just for the self employed. Have some nice cards with your best picture on it. Have a professional email address and number for contact purposes. Give your cards out to everyone.

4. Business networking groups. BNI, Worthwhile referral services,etc.These typw of groups meet every week either for a few hours just to network. Check craigslist for more groups. Start your own monthly networking group. Meet once a month for coffee,etc and just get to know people.

Be confident. Who wants to hire a shy person who doubts their self. Do not over sell yourself but do have confidence in who you are and what you do. The universe will bring success to you if you act successful.

Start networking while you are employed. Therefore you are least likely to be unemployed.

DON'Ts

I do not believe that my space is the way to go for professional networking. You get lumped in with all of the drama and people will take you less seriously.There are more professional networking sitesout there such as "linked in".

Must See Video!........ Dog Steals Raw Hide Out Of Grovery Store!

askdrdonna — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:26:00 GMT

http://www.blinkx.com/videos/channel:news%20Bones?sortby=news

Do You Want A Perfect Life Or.... A Happy Life?

askdrdonna — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:21:00 GMT

THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE!

So many people think that things have to be just right in their life in order to be happy. Actually, that is not true. Happiness is a choice emotion followed by choice actions. I have noticed that sometimes a person struggles with seeing the glass as half full. one thing is wrong in their life and all that a person can do is focus on the one thing that is wrong. Focusing on what is wrong in your life, only magnifies the problem because your focus made the law of attraction bring it closer to you. This is why you want to be grateful for what is right in your life.

Even if you do not have the " perfect " job, be grateful that you have a job. Even if your partner is still falling short on meeting your expectations for the relationship, make sure you show the gratitude for what your partner is doing correctly. If you do not, you can end up pushing your partner away.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN PERFECT PEOPLE AND HAPPY PEOPLE

I did a talk last Saturday and found some interesting info out during my research on happy people.

HAPPY PEOPLE VS. PERFECT PEOPLE

1. forgive hold grudges/accountability

2.optimistic negative

3. mind their own business worry about what " the jones " think

4. proud of their self criticize their self a lot

5. doesn't nit pick petty

6.take responsibility blames others

7. understanding takes things personally

8.love unconditionally loves with conditions

9. is happy now/has gratitude says " i will be happy when........

10. does the best they can nothing less than " perfect "

This is true about having a perfect life. It is a standard that is not realistic and hard to live up to. It leads to becoming very negative as time goes on due to not being able to meet expectations that the person has set for theirselves or others around them.

The lesson is to look at your life and know that it can be rewarding as it is. It is not when you have a relationship, lose weight, have a better job, or more money. It is be happy today.

If This Man Can be Forgiving... Than Anyone Can Forgive

askdrdonna — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:54:00 GMT

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/10/san_diego_update/

There was a plane crash a few days ago in San Diego, California. The pilot was able to eject from the plane and he is safe. The plane crashed into a house and killed a mother, her two daughters and her mother. her husband had nothing but love and forgiveness in his heart. He did not blame the pilot. Both engines failed. He actually asked people to pray for the pilot. He even stated that people have gone through worse than him. He is about to bury four love ones and he still sees that others have suffered just as bad as he is if not worse than him. He is a living example of a true spriitual being. HE GETS IT!

If he can forgive no one has any reason not to forgive. He asked people who have gone through worse to give him strength. Do say a prayer this awesome spiritual being.

The Best Way To Get Over Someone Is Not Necessarily To Get Under Someone New

askdrdonna — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:04:00 GMT

There has been many of you who are just plain frustrated and rightfully so. So many of you have a long winded relationship that is draining because you have done your part and your partner has not done their part.

Yes, some of you have to move on and some of you have to keep yourself busy while you are waiting for your partner to get their self together.

This blog is for those of you who do not want to deal with the soulmate/relationship stress and just want a smoother situation. Your current relationship/break up has been disappointing and you just want a partner that is emotionally present and ready to take the lead. I say that you must take a break and analyze your past relationship/break up before trying to date.

THERE IS PLENTY OF GOOD REASONS TO TAKE A BREAK FROM DATING....

If you are still hurting over your past relationship and want to date in order to escape the pain, you can be adding on even more pain. the reason why is because you are going to attract someone who is just like you, trying to forget the ex by getting under someone new. You both will be making each other responsible for eachothers' happiness. You will criticize everything that goes wrong in the new relationship and swear that it is just like your past relationship. You will be correct in a sense that you can only see the bad side of a person if you have not let go of the past.

You will require your new partner to cater to your emotions so that you are so busy until you do not have time to think about your past relationship. This will become a mental work out for you and your new partner. You may want to speed up the relationship by wanting to know if you can marry the new person or at least live together so that you can feel secure that your new partner isn't going ot leave you. This will prevent you from knowing the new person well enough to even know if you would want a long term relationship with them. The relationship will be needy and not healthy. That will make it a new form of emotional torture.

There is much to be said about rebound relationships. They can be very fast, hurtful, intense and very emotional destructive. It is better to take a break in between relationships So that you can be clear on who you are and what you need. This will help you to pick a healthy partner.

HOW TO HEAL FROM PAST BAD RELATIONSHIPS.........

1. Forgive it. Learn what you could of done differently and forgive yourself. than forgive your partner for their part in the break up. YOU MUST FEEL THE PAIN IN ORDER TO HEAL THE PAIN. SO DEAL WITH THE PAIN!

2. Learn what ever lessons came form the relationship. Whether you learned to stand up for yourself, to compromise, etc. that way the lessons are not repeated in your next relationship.

3. No blaming the other person. People come with baggage and some never face their baggage, If your ex cheated or whatever they did to you. Let it go because it does not serve you. Cheating is about the cheater and not the person being cheated on.

4. Make sure that you love yourself so that you are not outsourcing for validation. You want a balanced relationship.

5. Be yourself but a healthy self.

6. Be clear on what you want in a partner. Write it down. Give as much as you take in a relationship.

Changing Is A Part Of Growing Spiritually

askdrdonna — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:32:00 GMT

Most people do not like changes because it seems to threaten their security in their life. People love their routines. Routines are safe and predictable. Fear of change is tied into a need to control our lives. We can not control our life. The majority of people have a misconception about change. It is assumed by many people that if change occurs than they are doing something wrong. Change will happen whether we like it or not. Changes occur as a part of the human evolution. JUST THINK WHERE THE WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT CHANGE. We would not have the technology today without change.

THE COMMON FEARS ABOUT CHANGE...........

1. That if you have to change than there is something wrong with you. FALSE! It is impossible to live in a world and interact with people on a daily basis and have so many world influences without it needing to become more fluid as an individual.

If you plan to have friendships and romantic relationships, you must be willing to be flexible or you will fail in the relationship area whether it is with friends, a partner, co workers ,etc.

When we hold on hard to our belifs, we are strangling our perception of truth and not allowing for others to have their perception of truth. This is a sure way to invalidate your partner, friends,etc and it will create isolation from the people you want in your life.

2. If I change than that means that I am changing my belief system. FALSE! It is impossible to not have a core belief system. It is how a human navigates in their life. Due to our life experiences, we will have interpretations that lead to a belief system. The only issue with our beliefs is that we must remember that we can not inflict them on others.

We must be open to other people and who they are. Remember everyone has been influenced in a way that causes them to have their own set of beliefs. The key is to not have tunnel vision and to stay open to the fact that truth is different for every individual.

REMEMBER.

Change is about having a core self definition with room for expansion of who you are. Change is not completely giving up who you are. It is just staying open to your environment and the people in it. Embrace change and you will have a more enjoyable life because you are allowing for more opportunities to come to you.

If There Were Only 100 People In The World............... These Are The Stats

askdrdonna — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 18:25:00 GMT

100 PEOPLE	VIDEOS	100 People
100 PEOPLE	VIDEOS	Detailed Statistics
100 PEOPLE	VIDEOS	About The Data

The following statistics are an abbreviated version of the research that we commissioned from the University of Wisconsin - Green Bay. The detailed research and source information can be found here. The statistics contained in the email that originally inspired the project have been retired, but can still be viewed here for purposes of comparison.

If the World were 100 PEOPLE:

50 would be female
50 would be male

20 would be children
There would be 80 adults,
14 of whom would be 65 and older

There would be:
61 Asians
12 Europeans
13 Africans
14 people from the Western Hemisphere

There would be:
31 Christians
21 Muslims
14 Hindus
6 Buddhists
12 people who believe in other religions
16 people who not be aligned with a religion

17 would speak Chinese
8 would speak Hindustani
8 would speak English
7 would speak Spanish
4 would speak Arabic
4 would speak Russian
52 would speak other languages

82 would be able to read and write; 18 would not

1 would have a college education
1 would own a computer

75 people would have some supply of food and a place to
shelter them from the wind and the rain, but 25 would not

1 would be dying of starvation
17 would be undernourished
15 would be overweight

83 would have access to safe drinking water
17 people would have no clean, safe water to drink

Sources: Fritz Erickson, University of Wisconsin - Green Bay and John A. Vonk, University of Northern Colorado, 2006; Returning Peace Corps Volunteers of Madison Wisconsin, Unheard Voices: Celebrating Cultures from the Developing World, 1992; Donella H. Meadows, The Global Citizen, May 31, 1990.

This Is Another Very Truthful Quote

askdrdonna — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:24:00 GMT

Sometimes people think that calling on God means inviting a force into our lives that will make everything rosy. The truth is, it means inviting everything into our lives that will force us to grow--and growth can be messy. The purpose of life is to grow into our perfection.

—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Some More Relationship Bootcamp- Communication, Expectations and Disappointment!!

askdrdonna — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:30:00 GMT

So many of us have expectations in a relationship. I noticed from doing so many readings that we have decided what we want in a partner and how we want our partner to behave but we forget to tell them. This is what I call the danger of having expectations that become unrealistic.

The unrealistic expectations are created by lack of communication on our part not our partners part. There seems to be an assumption that our partner should know how to treat us without us verbalizing our expectations. When the expectations are not met for obvious reasons, there seems to be disappointment. Never ever expect your partner to know how you feel or what you need if you never verbalized it.

It seems that a lot of us are afraid to ask for what we want and we just want to find someone who automatically knows what we need. We want our partner to just figure it out magically. The truth is that you have manifested a partner who thinks just like you... scared to express themselves. Therefore, there is no communication and only frustration.

The lesson is that we always have our right partner and that is determined by who we are at the time. If you want a partner to express theirselves to you than you must be willing to do the same.

Relationship Bootcamp Exercise # 2

askdrdonna — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:33:00 GMT

Look in the mirror and say to yourself " I LOVE ME! ". So many of you will feel weird or uncomfortable doing such a thing. you might think that it is weird. If you can not tell yourself that you love yourself than do not ask someone else to say that they love you because that is outsourcing for validation and love.

Practice in the mirror say that you love yourself, your are attractive, you are smart. Then expect to hear these things from your partner.

Whenever we are mad at our partner for not telling us that they love us, we are really mad at our self for not telling our self that we love our self. Heal the source ( you ) and you will feel stronger in your relationship regardless of your partner validating you with saying " i love you".

This Is A Powerful Quote

askdrdonna — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:29:00 GMT

This is why I say that God is non judgemental. This from Mairanne Williamson Book

Rather than accepting that we are the loving beings that He created, we have arrogantly thought that we could create ourselves, and then create God. Because we are angry and judgmental, we have projected those characteristics onto Him. We have made up a God in our image. But God remains who He is and always has been: the energy, the thought of unconditional love.

—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miraces