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# re: How to Spot A Cheater @ Wednesday, June 27, 2007 10:30 AM

Wow, great clues to catching a cheater!!!  Highly accurate too.  Here's another one ... if someone is cheating on you ... they will accuse you of cheating on them!!!

Crystal of Light and Love 5

# re: How to Spot A Cheater @ Wednesday, June 27, 2007 2:46 PM

Thanks Crystal for that suggestion. I never thought of that one until now that you mentioned it.

the psychic one

# re: Betrayal-How to Spot A Cheater @ Thursday, October 18, 2007 8:48 AM

That was Great! I could have used it last year though :( . By now, I feel like anyone on here knows that reads this type blog, know my story. I have all the phone numbers, the address and I knew the guy was married. I was the woman who spouted off that I would NEVER have as affair with a married man. (Not a good word to use.) After weeks of pursuit from him, my friends and co-workers (who knew him previously) giving it their vote, seeing his actions...I relented...it happened. I was the one who lost....Everything. A job that I loved, friends (my support group) who turned out NOT to be friends, and him. I am the one who looks bad, who is talked about for the wrong that I did (to his wife not my self). I don't Even have a job reference for the year I spent with him. He has not suffered, lost anything, his life has gone on. Hs wife did not even know nor suspect (according to him) I don't know how, he was with me almost every day and night.
Anyway, I didn't set out one day and say; "I want to find me a married man and see what kind of havoc I can inflict on my life and all around me." Things happen. The damage has been done, not to them, but to me on all fronts. I didn't create their problems, they existed before I became a part of the play. He really got angry when I pointed out that they (the problems) would be there when I was gone. And it would be alot easier for him to have his next affair unless he took care of it.
Sorry, didn't mean to take up space hear. Thanks for letting me ramble though. Maybe someone could write an article about the aftermath...THE THIRD PARTY.
thanks and take care

JAYNE

# re: Betrayal-How to Spot A Cheater @ Tuesday, May 27, 2008 6:43 PM

Being someone who does not post on public blogs very often, I still felt compelled to write about this issue, considering it was my own "situationally forced" curiosity that brought me here. I am a 28 year old female, who is currently in a relationship with a man who WAS married when we met and has subsequently divorced his wife, split their assets and made amends with his two older teenage children. When he and I met, it was of course at work, and I had just been through what was the rock bottom break up of my life. I was vulnerable, lonely, and really needed some attention, something or someone to remind me that I was still attractive, still worthy enough to have a man interested in me. He was trapped in a loveless, sexless, respectless marriage and the rest is well, history.
That is not to say that we don't have our problems. For one, I always wonder " OK, when is he going to cheat on ME??..When am I going to get the ax the way his ex did?" NOT very healthy thoughts, are they?
Also, since he moved in with me six months ago, I have gotten to see the "real" him, the one who is lazy, aloof at times, a jerk at times, and I can see how the dissoloution of his marriage was NOT all HER fault. He and I have had arguments that, in the beginning, when he adored and cherished me ( his words, not mine) we never ever had. I have asked him if the new has worn off, etc. and some of his responses have really hurt me.
I did not set out to ruin his marriage. I really fell in love with this man, and when he asked me to marry him, I accepted and I meant yes. That was six months ago, and talk of wedding plans have not been happening.( Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free???..I can SOOO hear my deceased Granny saying that to me!) We don't date anymore, unless it's really cheap ( I am not hung up on money. I am a VIRGO and we are known to be thrifty.) and something HE wants to do.
Anyway, long story short: BE CAREFUL who you fall in love with, if at all possible. If he tells you it's "LOVE" yet he's still got his horse hitched to someone else's wagon, STOP everything at once. Tell him " If you really love me, you won't ask me to put up with your being married to someone else. You won't expect me to lie for you,and to be your dirty secret kept from your family either. IF and WHEN you get a divorce ( and demand to see the papers) THEN and ONLY THEN, will we talk about dating."
I know it will hurt to say goodbye, especially if they are as sweet and loving as my man once was with me. The pain of staying in the drama is so very deep and it's one that you don't just get over easily. If he really loves you, he won't selfishly think of HIS needs over yours and a man who has an affair, let's face facts, is usually SELFISH.

I hope my words will help someone else if they ever find themselves in this situation in their lives.

Please, anyone who feels like they need a friend to share something like this with, feel free to e-mail me at mothercupcake2006W@yahoo.com

Blessings,
Amy

Amy

# re: Betrayal-How to Spot A Cheater @ Thursday, June 26, 2008 1:53 AM

I am so confused. I've never been confronted with these issues in a relationship. I'm 26, have a daughter from a previous relationship. My boyfriend is 28 and has never been married or had kids. He also dated a cheater for two years before. I am pregnant with his child, which was planned and I discovered text messages in his phone after the fact. They were of him begging his ex-lover if she would send him pictures of her boobs then planning to meet without my knowledge. When I confronted him he had no explanation. He knew how I felt. To me that is a form of cheating. He then programmed my computer with a password and I couldn't access it without the password. He finally gave it to me and I discovered he had not only been visiting singles sites but had set up a membership with singlesnet. He moved out recently and suspiciously he doesn't come over on his days off. Never has money even a couple days after payday. He has seen me once in the past two weeks. If I call he wont answer my phone call. But then he will text right after 'asking what i'm doing.' He promises to come over certain days, doesn't show up or call. He has fancy words such as "I miss you." "I've never loved anyone as much as you." Please help me. Advice. Anything. I don't want to believe he is cheating. But who wouldn't?

britt

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