SEX TOO SOON
Ladies,ladies,ladies,
I decided to write a blog with the intention of reaching the masses on order toiluminate an ongoing problem.There seems to be a huge struggle with tremendous heartache experienced by women in relation to the men with whom they are relating.
Today I have had a total of 8 calls from women who all are suffering from the same doubts,fears and insecurities concerning the men in whom they are interested.I will change the names to protect their confidentiality, but will give you an overview of a few of their experiences. If you see yourself in any of these situations,then this blog is is a gift to you.
Rosalie: She reunited with a man she hadn't seen in 2 years.He is living with someone else but has shared with her that he is unhappy,and clearly enjoys it when the two of them are together. He comes over,vicits for a bit, and they wind up in bed.Then a long time elapses till she hears from him again.When she does,he comes over to visit and the same thing happens again...The result is she feels close to him (fantacizing about a permanent relationship),when they are together but totally abandoned when he disappears. She never knows when or if she will hear from him again.
Gretchen: She has been "hanging out" with him for a few months .It was casual from the beginning. He's lots of fun,sexy and charming.He never takes her out though,just likes to "hang out."She now wants more and feels if she can just get a conversarion going,telling him her deepest feelings with the request thst he give the relationship a chance to grow ,they will be on their way to a joyous future.He,however, won't make time for the conversation because he's busy "hanging out"with other girls. She's broken hearted!
Ingrid: She has been sleeping with "Nathan" for 2 years. They have a lot of fun together, but the only time they are together is when he wants to have sex. That's it!...She is hurting because he has not made her part of his life after all this time..She tries very hard to prove to him by being extra nice that she's the perfect woman for him..He's not responsive to that, so she blames him for being limited,instead of blaming herself for giving away the most intimate gift she has to offer to a man who has no ontention of committing to her.. What she doesn;t see is that she has "trained" him to treat her like that. She doubts herself all the time, as a result....."What'sthe matter with me?".."How can I make him love me?".She is tormented with her own yearning, fear of being alone, and doubts about her worthiness .
Sophia: She met "Thomas" online.The chemistry was instant. Fabulous! They couldn;t get enough of talking to one another.They lived for one anlther's emails and calls, exchanging sevcral each day wanting to know more and more about the other.......Finally after 2 weeks they met.They had a great date. They ended it in bed....Thomas is now far more "busy at work "than he was previously and is barely communicative. Sophia is calling,texting and emailing him constantly.,feeling like she's losing him (she is),and trying to recapture what they had at the very beginning.... She feels panicky and desperate.Was he just using her,she wondered.The answer is no.She was a volunteer, and actually created this debacle herself..
Ladies,what these women have in common is an ignorance about how men's minds work ,and lack of recognition about the power they actually do have.Men are wired for sex.That's the way nature designed them. We women,while enjoying that certainly, really want to be cherished,prioritized,protected,desired,loved and profoundly wanted by our men....Men don't have that heavy emotional tug that we do..Love can come,but only after a significant period of time where they get to know the woman beyond the flirting,sexual innuendos,posturing and wooing....It's always exciting in the beginning,but that is not love.It's infatuation..Many women think it's love and do not realize that the thrill of the newness is what's behind the excitement.After awhile,that naturally fades away.If there is no foundation of genuine friendship, the relationshipis doomed. Women kid themselves at this stage.What I've heard a thoudsand times is "He told me he never met anyone like me before".....My response to this is "So what?"...That comment doesn't guarantee he won't be trotting off the reservation later to meet up with someone else he "has never felt that way about" either.........When a man sex BEFORE he's given his heart,they he just isn;t as motivated to pursue.Men are also wired to appreciate variety.
So if you are wanting to inspire a man's love, for you and you alone, you have to be prepared to give the situation time....time for him to claim you as his own , to demonstrate his love and commitment.......Until he does, hold off on the sex. Women tend to bond with the men with whom they are sexual,and there is no greater pain than to be dumped for lack of interest,after that particular gift has been given. So,how do you know when the man loves you and is committed to you?Hopefully he will tell you...But sure signs are when he introduces you to his family and includes you intheir events,when he actually dates you on a regular ,consistant basis...not just wants to "hang out",when he wants you to share his birthday with him and he wants to be included in yours,when he calls just to see how your day is going,when he sees you have a problem and he wants to solve it for you, when he surprises you with gifts, but mostly when he TELLS you he wants an exclusive relationship with you...Anything less than that,keep those panties on, ladies.
Men want to feel they are getting a prize.If you are so generous with that particular gift, they put you in a catagory, and it isn't the future mother of his children.
The fear of being alone forever is what drives women to dishonor themselves,to throw away the most intimate thing they have to give..... It is at this juncture that we women have to believe in our own value and worth. Women need to convicne themselves that no matter how lonely it gets at times, to be assured with total certainty that there really is a man out there,just for them, who can be a respectful,devoted and lovingl ife partner.....Nothing but that will do!
Comment Notification
Subscribe to this post's comments using