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  • Name: desiree93
  • Member Since: 9/17/2000
  • About Me: Since I was very young I have been receiving messages from "beyond," from people who have passed over. As a child I was frightened. However, as I matured I embraced this gift and began what has become a lifelong pursuit of growth

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He's not committing..........
Hi ladies,

I am moved to write because this week there have been more calls than I can count his week from women who are sexual with men who are showing no signs of wanting a committed relationship with them. In fact, I just had a caller this evening who is in that  boat. The man will be chummy enough for sex, but after several months is still keeping the relationship at arms length. I was telling the caller that the cards showed that she could actually turn this around, but at the moment given the current circumstances, that it's quite clear that he was just seeing her as a "good time," thinking this is what she wanted too. I assured her I was on her side, wanting her to succeed in her relationship. In fact, I am committed to seeing women feel secure, joyous and cherished in their relationships with men, and will do all that my gifts allow to help them have that.......The caller I was just speaking of, fully comprehended what I was telling her, but didn't want to deal with her contribution to the problem. So she left a one star rating and hung up. She wanted to hear that  yes, he would commit to her by the endof the month. She's been calling readers for a year getting those kinds of predictions.....and nothing ever transpired. It is not the rating  am objectiong to, but what I see as an enormous problem of a woman being sexual BeFORE the man has given his heart, before he has claimed her as his own, before he has indcated he wants an exclusive relationship with her. This is the basis for most of the pain women experience at the hands of men. The men are doing nothing wrong. This is the way God made them. They are wired for sex. Is it possible for them to love? CERTAINLY!...But they take longer. And a w ise woman does not have sex with a man who does not love her. Men do not value a woman who is easy. They want to see their woman as a queen, a prize, someone with self-respect and standards...............By giving away the most intimate gift we have to give to a man whose heart is not invested is sending him the message that we do not place much value on ourselves. I know this to be true, because men call the line as well and indicate this constantly........Shooting the messenger does not change the reality. See yourself always for the magnificent, beautiful, deserving, desireable, fantiastic creature who you are. Easy sex is a man's game. Women get hurt by it. They get attached to the man and suffer tremendous pain when their affections are not returned. Men value what they have to work for. If he does not have to put in any effort to get you on your back there is no way he will want to take you to the altar. Love yourselves ladies, and waIT, no matter how much your hormones are raging, till he loves you back.......

So, once again , my dear ones, I will make the point that it's important to be self-honoring. This is the most intimate gift we have to give, and it should never be given lightly. We  women bond with men with whom we are sexual. Men do not have this same mechanism......Recognize the difference in the two genders and you will find you are far less likely to experience the pain of detachment, rejection or distancing....

Blessings, love and light..
Desiree

Published Thursday, August 28, 2008 7:20 PM by desiree93

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Comments

# re: He's not committing.......... @ Friday, September 12, 2008 2:33 AM

Dear Desiree: I agree with the premise of your post. However, I would like to point out that this issue is not necessarily "gender specific". Believe it or not, there ARE men that have this problem too - and as you said, we're made that way! I think people need to know if they are prone to this when consummating a relationship too quickly. If you ARE, then you need to take your time regardless of your gender. People that don't, have the unfortunate tendency to become bitter, cynical, and then isolate themselves from the very thing that makes life taste a little sweeter for most of us. We live in an "instant gratification" culture. Where sex is concerned this can cause some really PAINFUL situations. The end result is often despair and bitterness. Just like when you go swimming, for most of us it pays to look BEFORE you leap if you don't want to bang your head on the rocks below! I know that we seem to think that women have more experience than men with this problem, but I think that's merely because women are more likely to talk about it than men are! You know, we NEVER cry out, no matter how much it hurts! They teach us that from the time we're toddlers! Thanks for the chance to vent, Des. John

John

# re: He's not committing.......... @ Friday, September 12, 2008 7:39 AM

While the deed might already have been done, women must know when to say 'when'.
I am in a such a situation and enjoying very moment of it, but while I would love a commitment from this particular person, come December 31, 2008 at 11:59 p.m., it's over for me, as I need to make myself available to attract the right man from whom I can get the commitment I desire!!

Sharon

# re: He's not committing.......... @ Friday, September 12, 2008 3:53 PM

Wow, its funny, I figured this out on my own. My inner self just told me to stop. Being sexual just to be sexual isn't all that fun if their are no intimate emotions involved. After a while I didn't even understand why I would be intimate that way. So I just stopped, cold turkey. I did feel like I had no value. So I had to do something.
Your article was great I enjoyed reading it. I like the fact you understood why you recieved the 1 star rating. Honestly that was her rating herself, sometime people are not ready to hear the truth.

Chynna

Chynna

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