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BEING THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE

All of us want the same thing: Joyous lives, personal fulfillment, to be loved and to be able to express the loving part of ourselves.

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  • Name: desiree93
  • Member Since: 9/17/2000
  • About Me: Since I was very young I have been receiving messages from "beyond," from people who have passed over. As a child I was frightened. However, as I matured I embraced this gift and began what has become a lifelong pursuit of growth

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HELENE
Hello Ladies,

I wanted to tell you about "Helene." What an inspiration she is! She has been interested in a man,romantically, for quite some time. He has shown an interest but doesn;t let it get beyond friendship. I've been reading for her and have always seen that he thinks she's absolutely terrific in every sense of the word, but because of his own issues,has not let the relationship evolve to the deep,loving union which is what she wants.

So today she sent him an email indicating that she cared very much for him and hoped he'd want to proceed with a romantic relationship. But if not,she was no longer content just being his firend, and would therefore not welcome any more contact. She was prepared to end the entire relationship if he would not give her what she wanted.
This JUST happened,so we don't have his response yet. But look what a major step she took toward her own happiness,as she prioritized what she needed ,what she felt she deserved, and what she would no longer accept.

This is a very courageous thing she's done. She's set a boundary in place, indicating she will no longer accept crumbs. This will change the course of her entire destiny because the universe also picks up her vibration. The message is "I will no longer accept crumbs. I will only accept a bakery." This means that either this man will shape up, or the universe will bounce him out  so a "bakery" can come in. Either way she will be a winner. The pivotal thing is that she has made a  strong statement about her own worth and value, which is the most important thing, and a great stride toward enhancing her self-esteem. What an example she is for taking care of her own needs!

 This is a first for her.Care to offer "Helene" a few  words of support and encouragement for having taken this big step?

Published Tuesday, July 22, 2008 7:10 PM by desiree93

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Comments

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, July 22, 2008 7:36 PM

May I be the first to say to Helene - CONGRATS!  You have done something that needs to be done.  It is very hard to do, but you are taking control of your destiny and I think it is awesome!  I support you 200%!

Kelly

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, July 22, 2008 7:49 PM

Go Helene!!!  It is a brave move and you can stick to it!

Jena

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:09 PM

can you let us know what his answer will be if there is one?  J

meagain

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:30 PM

Kudos to her for doing this. It's not an easy thing to do (believe me, I understand) but so vital for our own happiness.
And yes, the Universe will respond in kind.

spiritualseeker66

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, July 22, 2008 10:00 PM

This really hits home as I have been going through a remarkably similar experience myself for the past year.  And even though my Keen advisers agreed this man was my soul mate, and that a long term romance would occur, the relationship never went past a platonic friendship.

And that turned out to be a very good thing!

It turns out this man has a very dark side, and he has now become very abusive to me.  Like 'Helene' I too have drawn my boundaries and warned him that his behavior was unacceptable.  Unfortunately he did not heed the warnings, the abuse continued, so I've just ended the friendship.

I can tell you for a fact that what 'Helene' did took a lot of courage.  But if it does not work out it for her then it would have been for the best that it stayed a friendship and did not blossom into a romantic involvement.

I am dealing with some very serious depression right now.  I can hardly imagine how much more painful this would have been had my friendship turned into a romance.

Hang in there Helene.  Hopefully you will have a better outcome than I did.

'Marina'

marinachristie

# re: HELENE @ Wednesday, July 23, 2008 4:37 PM

Way to take your power back, Helene!  I agree that what you did was the best thing you could have done.  I am dating a man that for a while was an on again off again thing and I set boundries with him in late December and he has stepped up his game and I see him 3-4 times a week and we had a great vacation together recently.  I never let hin take me for granted and keep him on his toes.  It is such a great feeling to be in the seat of power.  You go girl!!!!

Doxie

# re: HELENE @ Wednesday, July 23, 2008 11:34 PM

Usually when a person is courageous like Helene and moves forward with such wonderful confidence it means she is now open to richer and better rewards in the relationship arena..whether it works out or not with this particular guy..she will be open to the very best guy who comes along because she found her empowerment. Thats exactly what happened to me..when I decided not to spend my time waiting and wallowing lol if you will. Everythihg then happened to me and its been fantastic..for the past 7 years with a great guy. I would have never picked such a winner if I had not empowered myself and opened myself up to possibilites instead of limiting my life.  And this Helene makes you beautiful and attractive to me. It trully does.
kelley

Lady Hope

# re: HELENE @ Friday, July 25, 2008 9:17 AM

LADIES,
THIS IS WHAT HELENE WROTE IN RESPONSE TO YOUR WONDERFUL MESSAGES TO HER:

I am SO touched that Desiree posted this on her blog and it underscored how proud I should be of myself.  And then to see what my fellow sisters have written in support is icing on the cake.  I am so touched and inspired by all of you.  It was very hard to do this despite the fact that I was, like Desiree eloquently put it, getting crumbs.  And you know what?  That's all I've ever gotten - that's all I ever thought I deserved.  An emotionally unavailable man where the relationship was about me fitting into HIS world and mine did not exist, and me meeting all of HIS needs for fear of being abandonned.  So, saying good bye to him is like saying good bye to ALL the men in my past - the only type of relationship I have ever known which leaves me feeling pretty alone and wondering if I will ever find anything other than the unavailable narcissistic man.  But Desiree was right, she said so long as I accept him, the universe will continue to send me more of the same because I keep accepting it.  Well no more.  And if another comes my way, I will say no, until the kind of love I deserve comes my way and the universe understands what it is I'm really looking for and deserve (not that I even have a clue as to what that looks like mind you).  I guess i've decided that if this means I'm alone then so be it.  Thank you Desiree for all of your support and ladies thank you for your wonderful support as well - you have no idea how much it means!

Thank you Desiree!! =)





desiree93

# re: HELENE @ Friday, July 25, 2008 3:32 PM

Helene, rest assured that you will find someone that is deserving of you.  Never give up your power.  I know how hard that is, since I still stuggle with it from time to time, but when I don't, great things happen.  Desiree is wonderful and very helpful in keeping you strong as she has done with me.  For the first time in my, I am with a man that wants to take care of me, instead of always me taking care of my man.  It feels great.  Know that you deserve wonderful things and a wonderful man that will put you on a pedestal and take care of you.  Stay strong!

Doxie

# re: HELENE @ Saturday, July 26, 2008 2:50 AM

I want to add Helene..as I only can from my own experience..it was super uncomfortable to date a man who was good, someone I was trully deserving of...why? Because I was so use to the other type of person, I picked, that I didn't know what the heck to do with myself! hahaha. I am not kidding. Now it is funny to me. Then I would almost pick arguments just to see if he would abandon me as others had. The problem is he never gave up and understood the issue was my past experiences..because I told him so. Thats the greatest thing is I was open to explaining things to him by doing so he realized what was going on and hung on for dear life.  He use to say, Kelley I am NOT him. It took a lot of these I am not hims before I got it..about a years worth. So I thought you might be interested in another lady who dealt with this and what my issues were as I worked this all out.  Change is difficult it is so much easier to be in "our comfort zone". Even if it is unhealthy and I have talked to many folks who go through this same issue..biggest one is if a person has had a relationship with someone who has cheated. I wanted to share this with all Keendom men and women..its hard to get out of the comfort zone..takes work! But ohhhhh is it worth it.
Blessings
Kelley

Lady Hope

# re: HELENE @ Saturday, July 26, 2008 12:22 PM

Thank you Kelley,for sharing this with Helene. Most of us women are accustomed to unfulfilling, disappointing relationships.It becomes normal after awhile. How refreshing and encouraging to be able to think about this differently, which your comments generated.It's nice to know it is indeed possible to have a healthy relationship that flourished in mutuality.

desiree93

# re: HELENE @ Monday, July 28, 2008 6:49 PM

You go girl!!! You have absolutely claimed your birthright, to be cherished and adored..no less.

It's amazing how quickly your path will shape up in the direction you expect once you lay the groundwork. :)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, HELENE!

DELPHINA

# re: HELENE @ Tuesday, August 12, 2008 12:48 PM

Way to go Helene, hats of to you! What you did was EXTREAMLY hard... but hey, you did it! ^^

Sumayya aka Kiva

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