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So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

I will keep it short, direct and sweet. I know that many people view divorce as a failure, a death of a life with someone, a betrayal and even the end of the world. In the beginning, it may feel that way but it does not have to stay that way.

Part of being a human going through a divorce, you may feel lost, hurt, shocked depressed and some even want to die. When a person gets married, it should be with the intent of staying together forever. Then, reality changes and you find that the marriage you planned to stay in is gone. It is over. When one person wants the divorce and the other does not, it is easy to feel betrayed or to consider the person who wants the divorce to be selfish or cold. These are all valid feelings but do not let it ruin your life.

 YOU CAN RE BUILD AFTER A DIVORCE..........

When that door closes, do not stare at it too long or you will not see the new door that is opening and could be better for you.

CASE #1:I had a friend find me after 20 years on my space. I asked her about her hubby. She told me that they divorced after being together for 20 years. He left her for someone else. She also stated that she thanks him very much for leaving her because now she is married to a wonderful man who worships her. She is able to be a stay at home mom and he makes life comfortable for her. She calls him her " blessing from God". I never heard her speak of ex that way.

CASE # 2: Another friend of mine had his wife leave him after 5 yrs of marriage. Prior to that, they were college sweethearts. He loved her 1000%. She wanted a different life so she left. He was very depressed. Then he met a new woman who loved him 1000% . She would cater to him and thought that he was the greatest man on earth. You could see how much she loved him. He was shut down and he was pushing her away. He was staring at the closed door. Then he woke up and he married her. They are happy and each other's best friend. They have two children and he new has the family that he desires to have.

YOU CAN EVEN BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX.

My sister was married to my brother in law for over ten years. They started dating when they were sixteen. I was barely born. My brother in law changed my diapers. When they divorced, it wasn't pretty at first but then, they became best friends. They talk everyday. He will always be my brother in law. Some times we have to heal then you can have the friendship. Give it time.

The best example of friends after divorcing is Chris and Janet Attwood. She talks about it on her website. They have been divorced for a long time but they are now business partners. She is the godmother of his baby with his new wife. They are an example of being mature and spiritually practicing what they preach.

THE LESSON IS................

Life does not end at divorce. It can be a new great beginning.

 

Published Sunday, October 12, 2008 4:53 PM by askdrdonna

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Sunday, October 12, 2008 2:42 PM by MalikaHelena

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

This is a lovely blog post Donna.  Things like divorce can result in a new order that is much more in agreement with our growth and truth.  Thank you for sharing this positive information.  You are wonderful!
:)Malika
Sunday, October 12, 2008 4:44 PM by askdrdonna

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

Thank you Malika so much for your comment. I like how you defined the new door as being in agreement with our growth and truth.

I think that people have to realize that their divorce is not a failure, Instead see it as change and on a new spiritual path.

I will re post this blog.
Sunday, October 12, 2008 5:09 PM by bels light

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

As always Donna, your timing is perfect for me.  My divorce will be final tomorrow and while I know that this is what is best, the mourning kind of hit me today.
I know without a doubt I will be fine, but thank you so much for the reminder.
Sunday, October 12, 2008 5:24 PM by askdrdonna

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

Dear Bel, now you know girlfriend that a new door is opening so of course things will be just fine. Yes there is a grieving process with a divorce but know you did all you can do.
Sunday, October 12, 2008 7:44 PM by Angels at Play

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

I'm going through a divorce and it's the best thing for me.  Thank  you.
Robin
Monday, October 13, 2008 6:05 AM by askdrdonna

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

Angels at Play, thank you for sharing. I hope that callers read this blog and find encouragement. Most people will not even mention that they are divorcing. Your story contributes to that along with Bel and Malika and it shall help someone to have a better outlook about their situation.
Monday, October 13, 2008 11:16 AM by tiddlywinks33

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

Nice post Donna. I was happy when my divorce was final... heck, I was happy the moment my ex left the house! lol I knew it was the right step for me and never looked back. However, I really can't imagine trying to be friends with my ex... I don't think I could ever trust him enough for that, but then, he's proven over and over again throughout the past decade since our divorce that he's not trustworthy when it comes to his dealings with me... and so I don't aspire to being his friend. But I also don't aspire to being mean or unfair... so I guess that's the closest we'll get to being friends... LOL Kudos to those who can become friends after-the-fact... I'm sure it's a much nicer way to move forward.
Monday, October 13, 2008 6:53 PM by askdrdonna

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081010/ap_on_fe_st/as_odd_cambodia_unique_divorce

this couple certainly will are not friends after their divorce.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:40 PM by tiddlywinks33

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

LOL! That's funny about the divorce in Cambodia! I guess that brings new meaning to "if i can't have it, no one will." :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 3:26 PM by askdrdonna

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

My friends in laws bought their Victorian mansion which was worth over 400k for only 50k because the seller did not want to share the profits with his ex wife. Someitmes there is a benefit to spouses fighting! lol!
Thursday, October 16, 2008 6:13 AM by tiddlywinks33

# re: So......If You Find Yourself Going Through A Divorce..READ THIS BLOG!

Yes, well as twisted as it is, someone always seems to benefit from someone else's misery!

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