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Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Quite often I speak about setting boundaries, this means deciding what for you is an acceptable way to be treated by others.

 

Not everyone will have the same level of acceptable behaviour.  If someone isn’t willing to work within your boundaries you have to make a choice of either making an exception for that particular person or distancing yourself from them.

 

If you decide to make them an exception to the rule you shouldn’t do it with the thought that you will be able to change them and force them to interact with you by your rules, you should do it accepting them the way they are.

 

You will find you will tolerate certain behaviour from some people but not from others depending what level of friendship/relationship you have with them.  We tend to put up with ‘boundary breaking’ from family but wouldn’t put up with the same behaviour from friends.

 

When you set boundaries they are yours and just as it’s up to you whether you allow someone to stay in your life if they break them, it is equally up to others whether they honour them or not.

 

You set boundaries for your well being you can’t make others comply with them if they don’t want to, just as others can’t make you comply with their level of acceptance.

 

Blessings.

 

Published Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:54 AM by Trinity Connection
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Comments

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Great post Trinity!  I agree that you must not try and change others to fit within your boundaries but set your boundaries so you can encompass them.  I think trying to change anyone is totally unproductive and just not possible in the long run.  Blessings to you and I hope your day is filled with joy.

Rosie

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 2:42 AM by Rosalea

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Thank you Rosie, if you are looking to change someone then you either need to distance yourself from them, or look to yourself to be the one that changes.  No matter how hard you try you cannot change anyone other than yourself, with lasting effects.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:15 AM by Trinity Connection

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Thank you for your post, I have had many issues with boundries and tend to let people get away with very bad behavior. I had to distance myself from my mother in order to save my sanity and marriage. It seems that no one in our family will call her on her bad behavior, she is just accepted as the rude, ill-mannered person she is. Thank you for your comments, they did help me deal with this situation.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:15 AM by LaNell

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Thank you for your comment LaNell, I had the same problem with my mother, and anyone who has called her on her behavior is not spoken to again, (whoopeee said I when she stopped speaking to me because I wouldn't bow to her).  Just because someone is family dosn't mean your boundaries don't apply.  Stay strong
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:27 AM by Trinity Connection

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

You could not have been more right on!  Just before reading this I had to make it quite clear to a friend that I had been helping before that her behavior has been totally unacceptable, especially when someone is helping you without asking for anything in return.  Not wanting to acknowledge my request for some common courtesy, I was hung up upon and therefore minus a friend.  I guess my boundary was too much for her to handle.  Her loss!?!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 7:27 PM by Cathy

# re: Your Boundaries Are Your Boundaries.

Cathy thank you for your comment, some people just think they are entitled to get what they want regardless of how it makes someone else feel, it's amazing how many people don't use manners and common courtesy these days and are quite put out when it is pointed out to them.  Yes it is her loss. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:05 AM by Trinity Connection
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