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We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

Some may think it’s a bit sexist but I have to say I have come across few men who shout these words from the roof tops because they decided they would have sex with someone they only met 5 minutes ago.

 

Why do so many women think if they have sex with someone, that someone will then HAVE to have a long lasting relationship with them, why do they assume that someone will want to have a cottage with roses round the door and children playing in the garden, just because they had a romp between the sheets.

 

If you choose to have sex with someone you’ve only known for 5 minutes, and do not have a relationship that encompasses all the other elements of a relationship, then having sex with that person is simply that, having sex with them, it doesn’t mean you are in a relationship with them.

 

Stop using sex as a way to “get” your man, it won’t.  Stop using sex as a weapon, because the only person it will hurt is YOU.  Stop thinking if you are having sex with someone you are in a relationship with them YOU ARE NOT.

 

A relationship is made up of many different aspects, sex being just one of them.  If you always have sex when you spend time together, ask yourself honestly what else there is in the relationship, what else do we do together, do we ever spend time together without sex being involved, because quite honestly if sex is the only element in the relationship it will fail.

 

With any good relationship you should be able to take out any “relationship element” and still have a strong bond.  A good relationship has elements of friendship, companionship, support, understanding, trust, freedom the list goes on, for a relationship to work you have to have all these elements.

 

The problem is when we women have sex we release a chemical, now the chemical is actually addictive, but we don’t realise this and we then project the addiction of the “sex chemical” (as I call it) onto the man who releases the chemical within us and that’s when the trouble starts.  It takes about 2 weeks for the chemical to go dormant again, but as it’s addictive we keep topping it up.   You ask any woman who has been on her own for even just 2 months if they fancy sex and of course they will answer “YEA”, but ask them to answer you seriously and they will tell you they can take it or leave it because the chemical is dormant.

 

If you want a romp between the sheets, fine go ahead, but if it is with someone you have only just met and by this I mean only known for about 2 months, then see it for what it is plain and simple sex, it’s not a marriage proposal.   If you have sex with someone you have known for years but only as a friend, see it for what it is, plain and simple sex, not necessarily a change from friendship to relationship.   If you are looking for a long term relationship then sex should be the last element that is added, simply because 

 

 

Sex Does Not A Relationship Make.

 

 

Blessings.

Published Sunday, January 27, 2008 1:33 PM by Trinity Connection
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Comments

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

Great blog. i remind people that sex is just sex and does not equal love. So many times women will say " i had sex iwth him so he must know that i love him" my answer is not really how can he know if you never told him and used sex as an expression. how is he suppose to know that you express love through sex if you never tell him that. women must remember to talk and have no regrets if they have sex and no expectations if they have sex. wonderful real blog!
Sunday, January 27, 2008 7:12 AM by askdrdonna

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

Thank you Donna. Sex shouldn't be used as a measure of how much someone loves you because there is so much more to loving someone than just having sex great or otherwise.
Sunday, January 27, 2008 7:25 AM by Trinity Connection

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

I highly recommend Be Honest, You are just not that into him either, by Ian Kerner. It talks about the fact that we all have choices and to make those choices knowing that IF you choose to be intimate and have sex, be AWARE that might open up feelings within YOU as a WOMAN that may not EVER be there with a MAN.
I love that book, makes SO much sense
Joan
Sunday, January 27, 2008 8:36 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

thank you for that Joan
Sunday, January 27, 2008 9:12 AM by Trinity Connection

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

Trinity this is an excellent blog.  Thank you so much for putting this sensitive matter in words that all can understand.

Rosie
Sunday, January 27, 2008 9:22 AM by Rosalea

# re: We Had Sex So Now You Have To Marry Me !!

Thank you Rosie, I told you I was going to throw away the cotton wool.
Sunday, January 27, 2008 9:58 AM by Trinity Connection
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