It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
Or is it. I’ve been pondering on this for a while now, and I have to say I am sitting firmly on the fence.
On the one hand you are left with some wonderful memories, on the other hand there is the pain of the break-up.
I know so many women (me included) who wouldn’t have achieved as much as they have if things had stayed the way they were, yes even when the love in the relationship is the deep all encompassing, breath taking love.
Love can take away freedom of self.
We make ourselves responsible for another’s happiness and make them responsible for our happiness.
We think we can’t be our own person because they won’t like us anymore.
We are no longer a whole person in our own right, but half of someone else.
We think we cannot grow within our self and do the things we want to do because the other person won’t like us anymore.
We fear we will grow away from the other person.
We stifle our own growth, stop our true destiny in it’s tracks for fear of being left on our own.
Falling in love somehow makes us feel we don’t have the capacity to breath anymore on our own.
Falling in love somehow makes us lose our self.
The truth is our partner fell in love with a whole person, someone who knew what they wanted and went after it. They fell in love with a person who had dreams of becoming great, of reaching the top, of wanting to be the best. They fell in love with someone who was independent and didn’t need anyone to make them happy. They fell in love with a confident, happy, free spirited person. They fell in love with the whole us, the real us.
Although the pain of separation and loss is great at first, it does subside and if you let it that pain can be the catalyst of getting yourself back, of moving on to bigger and better things for you in your life.
Of course it is so much better once you learn that to love another doesn’t mean you have to lose who you are, because then you stay a whole person the one they fell in love with and chances are they will stay in love with you.
Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, I don’t know, ask me when the pain of losing the one true love of my life has gone away !