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I Do Care What Other People Think.

I was sitting in my neighbour’s garden having a drink with her and her sister who was visiting.  Her sister kept looking at me and eventually I asked her what was wrong, thinking “Oh God don’t tell me I’ve been sitting here for the last half hour with a boogie coming down my nose”……….

 

She cocked her head to one side and said “There is something different about you”, immediately I said "well I cut my hair last week and it’s shorter than I usually have it." 

She replied “No it’s not that, there is something about the way you are acting, speaking, loking even  it’s as if something inside you has changed”.

 

I looked across at my neighbour and we smiled at each other and I went on to explain that I had listened to some criticism about me and not liking what I heard, I had taken time to step back and notice my actions and tone of voice when I spoke and the fact that I kept people at arms length and realized that yep the criticisms were founded, and so I had been trying to be gentler, taking time to think before I reacted to something that had been said, when I was about to criticize someone for their behaviour or words, I stopped and checked to see if those things were part of the way I was,then rather than criticize the other person for them I would correct them in myself. Rather than complain that this or that isn’t working, or this or that never happens to me, I now look at the part I am playing in getting things right for me and if I need to adjust my actions I do so, or I accept it is out of my hands and let it go, or I ask for another’s opinion in case they can see something I’m missing.

 

She looked at me and said “well I’ve got to say it shows my dear, it really shows”.

 

Now those words of my neighbour’s sister meant so much to me, this is someone who I’ve met a few times and who never really interacted with me, now I know why, it had nothing to do with her and all to do with me.  It made me realize that I do care what people think of me, even if I go about saying who gives a monkeys left hand print what others think.  If I didn’t care what others think then others couldn’t hurt me.

 

I now realize that caring what others think of you doesn’t mean you are weak or you have to always comply with their wishes or their way of doing things, what it does mean is you have the ammunition to use on yourself to make yourself a better person.  Remember there will always be someone who doesn’t care for who you are,  you can’t expect everyone to like you, but you should always expect to like yourself.

 

Blessings.

Published Wednesday, June 18, 2008 12:01 PM by Trinity Connection
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Comments

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

I love this blog Trinity for you are so correct.  I get my feelings hurt often and I berate myself because I allowed it but it does matter who makes the observation also.  Some people's opinion who you regard highly seem to matter more at least to me.  My Dad could make me shrivel up inside with a glance of disapproval.  He did not even have to tell me I screwed up!  Great blog as usual Trinity and thanks for sharing.

Rosie
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 6:21 AM by Rosalea

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

TC (Truthful Comments),

BRAVO.

I can only say that though one should not be silly putty for the wolrd to manipulate, I happen to agree with you...one SHOULD sometimes listen to what others have to say.

You so smart, girl!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 7:17 AM by The Mathematician

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

What a nice blog - thank you! A lot of us are taught to not care what others think, but it's human nature to care. Bravo to you for realizing this and working on changing your actions - you are a great example for all of us! Judy
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 9:47 AM by jc2007

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

Rosie thank you for your comments, my mother always manages to make me feel so small, but now I just don't allow her judgements to bother me because what she says about me isn't true anymore.

Mathe Thank you honey you are so right we shouldn't allow others to manipulate us be if we can see what they are saying is correct then it is prudent of us to make changes.

jc2007  thank you for your comments and your compliments, I am just doing what a lot of us here are doing and trying to make better people of ourselves as well as helping others do the same
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 12:18 PM by Trinity Connection

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

Hey, girl!  What a great blog post.  Wonderful food for thought.

This makes me think about a few years back when I thought I was getting tailgated on the road "all the time."  After quite awhile of being aggravated as hell about this, I decided to remember the concept of projection and take a look at my OWN self.  

hahahaha  Lo and behold, I discovered that I was really tailgating OTHERS.  And the REALLY cool thing about it is that when I stopped tailgating, then other people stopped (seemingly) tailgating ME.  It was quite a revelation, to say the least.  hahahaha

Anyway, I'm not saying that you were doing this, but it made me think of the times when we're MOST angry, we usually find that demon in ourselves.  

Thank you so much for your post, so meaningful to ALL OF US.  

Hugs,
Terri
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 9:16 PM by Terri (Tezza)

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

Terri thank you for your comments honey, I really like that you were able to just take a moment to see if what was annoying you was something you were doing to others, it's a two fold thing not only does recognising our faults help us become better it also disipates the anger.  You rock girl.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 11:01 PM by Trinity Connection

# re: I Do Care What Other People Think.

TY, Trinity.  And all the posts in this thread are so good, and things that I can relate to.

Rosie and Trinity, your comments are particularly appreciated.  Having been raised in a small town by grandparents (Grandpa was the school supt., no less!), I was raised by the what-will-the-neighbors-say concept.  Aargh.

And that hurts.  One can NEVER please "all the neighbors."  And it took years for me to realize that I shouldn't have to.  But then again, I have 3 planets in Aries and 4 in Libra.  Hahahahahah

Seriously, it took me much longer than I care to admit that I shouldn't worry about every person's opinion about me.  And THEN one has to sort out when we SHOULD care . . . when there are some valid observations from people -- hopefully, those who *care* about us -- before we get the hard cold reality from those who *don't* care.  LOL

Love this blog.

Terri
Thursday, June 19, 2008 9:46 PM by tezza
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