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Are You Attracting “Commitment Phobics”?

Do you constantly wonder why you get involved with men who won’t commit, it is quite possible the cause is not the men but you. You may have a deep seated fear of committing yourself to a relationship and thus in turn you are attracting “commitment phobic” men to you.

 

The fear of committing to a relationship may be so deep rooted that you will deny feeling this way, quite often when we follow a pattern caused by fear we will deny it is us that has the problem.  Attracting “commitment phobic” men allows you to deny to yourself you have a problem and also allows you to play the victim thus exonerating you of any blame for the break up of your relationships.

 

There comes a time when you have to sit back and ask yourself why you are attracting the same type of men over and over again, why you are following the same pattern over and over again.  There comes a time when you have to admit to yourself it can’t always be the fault of the other person but that you must be playing a role in the relationships not working out.

 

You may have grown up hearing your parents constantly bickering and this has put you off, or you may have been in a relationship that hurt you badly and subconsciously you are afraid if you get too close to someone you will end up being hurt again.

 

Until you admit to the way you really feel about commitment you will carry on following the same pattern.

 

Blessings.

Published Monday, May 05, 2008 7:32 PM by Trinity Connection
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Comments

# re: Are You Attracting “Commitment Phobics”?

Trinity,

Excellent points :)

Many women do not even realize the motive behind their choices in men. It is all too common for women to be knowingly be with an "unavailable" man, meaning married or in a relationship with someone currently. There is a subconscious "safety net" in doing this.

Light & Love
Dr Daragh

Monday, May 05, 2008 12:35 PM by Light and Love

# re: Are You Attracting “Commitment Phobics”?

Dear Trinity:

At times I actually see a barrier around an individual when we are connecting that is exactly like you defined.  Some will say they are looking for a committed relationship but they are terrified of committing themselves.  The defense mechanisms they have in place will sometimes scream out to others also like "don't get to close for I am taken" especially for those who have recently ended a long term relationship. It takes a little analysis to find out if you are creating a barrier that others find impossible to penetrate.

Rosie
Monday, May 05, 2008 1:34 PM by Rosalea

# re: Are You Attracting “Commitment Phobics”?

Dr Daragh and Rosie thank you for your input, sometimes we don't realise our subconscious is acting on our behalf, but as you say Rosie with a little analysis we can understand why we are taking certain actions and that in itself has a freeing effect on us.  
Monday, May 05, 2008 2:55 PM by Trinity Connection
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