You used to have alot of friends. What happened?
You aren't sure how it happened. You used to have a lot of friends and people loved you. Along the way something happened. Now you are always protecting your self from getting hurt. Worse, you hurt all the time. Here are some tricks to get your friends back. Don't cry.
HERE ARE THE SIGNS
Even your boss is acting funny around you. You bust your ass to do a great job at work. In fact, you often work twice as hard as anyone else around you. You can actually see co workers pulling back, slinking against the walls....talking. So you work harder. You feel if you obtain a certain point of perfection, others will praise you and lift you on their shoulders, and carry you to the break room for a celebration. It never.....never happens. People just keep getting colder. Why?
THEY SEE YOU AS AN ARROGANT CONTROL FREAK THAT WANTS IT ALL YOUR WAY. SO THEY LET YOU.
You created this situation. Clearly you have turned Co Workers, a mate, maybe even your kids against you. Once in a while you get the hint. There can't be team work if you do everything your self. But it drives you crazy to see something done differently then you would do it. One day you rush to redo something that someone did their own way, and there you are again working twice as hard to be perfect. No more holding back.
THE HARD PART IS YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON...THE SAME LIKABLE PERSON YOU ALWAYS WERE.
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If you want your friends back, stop doing everything yourself.
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Understand that to be seen as a lovable person you have to allow others to see you imperfect at times.
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When you allow others to see your imperfections.......people feel honored, and relieved.
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If you want your friends back, stop redoing the things they do which screams silently that they are not good enough for you.
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Also, understand when you do everything your self, you define the rules and they are "DO IT MY WAY."
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The less you do....the more others figure out what their roles are. This is called team work. By doing less....you will be liked MORE.
YOU SAY, "IF I DON'T DO IT MYSELF EVERYTHING FALLS APART. I JUST WANT TO BE APPRECIATED IS ALL."
To be a perfectionist is compulsive behavior. Everyone else around you sees this also. But how about this? Why not work on perfecting your image of likability instead? Get back your friends, laugh again, and stop worrying so much.
HOW YOU CAN RECAPTURE YOUR OLD LIKABLE SELF.
One of the oldest tricks of great actors, is to project the image of someone you admire with such detail, you "act out" and "become" that person.
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Remember when you were little how easy it was to pretend?
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Pretend you are someone you most admire.
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Whether it is Gandhi, Jesus, or your favorite TV. talk host, pretend you are them.
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What would they say? What would they do? How would they treat others?
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Do this for 5 weeks, and watch how others start to treat you.
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Remember to still be YOU....adopting another’s actions like a foster child to your heart and soul.
Within 5 weeks it will be clear that you still have it...and from here, OWN it, or cast it off to be unlovable again. Its all up to you.