The Security of a Fantasy Lover
Maybe you know this person or have just seen them from a distance. Maybe there are a million reasons you can’t be together. In your dreams there is only bliss with every breath shared in each others presence. In your fantasies you have had walks together, talked about deep feelings and held each other in every possible way. You never see the bad, only the perfection. Like golden Angels you see each other as nothing short of perfection.
There is safety in this. We fear being the heart being thrown away like a disposable razor. Sure your soul aches sweetly and yearns for this magical person. But “those reasons” that keep you apart are a wonderful way never to get hurt, and even more, a way to never be disappointed. For the already married these fantasy lovers can be the inspiration for great achievements, as in your mind, they are forever praising you and always on your side, ready to make love when the time is right.
The problem is when we lose the reality of the people we obsess about, thinking that somehow they will be completely different then any one we have met. Some of us even leave partners for them, only to find they are as human as the person that let us down.
In the Middle Ages and Victorian Era the fantasy and waiting for one you love, because of miles between or etiquette, was the norm. Instead of dating followed by sex, periods apart made the together time sweeter. Time invested in waiting is good discipline, and time to observe from afar can be more enlightening then close encounters.
One day, like the teen age worship of a celebrity, you wake up bored with your own thoughts. The fantasy of an obsession begins to lose its edge, and you may find without even knowing it is happening that you have moved on.