Do You INTIMIDATE People? What is too intense?
Sarah, the most valued person in her corporation, can light up a room by her charisma. Where ever big sales are to be made she is the one to represent the product. Successful name company contracts fall into her lap. She is like the super model representing a car, or wearing a swim suit in a catalog.. Clients want to become her, own what she has and rub shoulders with her vibrant energy. She “transforms” what ever she sells into a commodity of value.
Funny thing is she goes home alone. Men that go out with her find where ever they are she does things better then they do. With out meaning to she out shines every one. Women avoid her so they won’t be compared to her. Men love her as a buddy, but shy away from her. They date her a month or two. She makes people insecure. Her knowledge, vibrancy, and intensity are exaggerated by 10 fold in the smallest of actions. She can’t help it. The very quality about her that makes her a highly paid executive representative is her demon vice in private life. Sarah has not learned a very valuable human lesson. Sometimes less is best. When in doubt, be evasive, not twice as charismatic.
WHAT IS INTENSE?
You don’t have to be a big name executive to be labeled “too intense.”
1} Intense can be the Performer that can’t quit performing in real life situations.
2} Intense can be the person always voted in as President of Organizations.
3} Intense can be the Shy Intellectual with deep searching eyes.
4} Intense can be the office lady that has to out work every one else around her until they hate her.
WHAT IS THE CURE FOR INTENSITY?
1} Learn to back off, smile and say less in social situations of discomfort..
2} Realize when the light is on you, afterwards, it is time to take the shadows. Let others shine.
3} When the bubbling conversation quiets, go with the flow. Don’t assume it is your job to keep things going. It may be misinterpreted as controlling the situation. It may be just the right time for another to shine.
4} When in doubt, practice doing nothing. Often your doubt is saying “Wait and be Patient.”
5} Don’t out work every one around you at all times. The pace you set will be expected from everyone.
6} When you sense your eyes are too intense for someone, ...look away. Do not search their eyes for what you are doing wrong.
MOTHERS ADVICE ON BEING INTENSE
"I used to go scurrying around to curry favor when others seemed mad at me. I would do anything to make the feeling go away. Now I KNOW that this, too, will pass and that the best thing I can do is become rather quiet and withdrawn but staying gently friendly. INEVITABLY, it doesn't take so very long before everyone adores me. And they adore me more if I haven't demonstrated that I'm smarter."