Wonderland

Don’t you just love it when you believe you’ve done all this spiritual/emotional work on yourself and it seems like FOREVER before things start happening?  Playing the waiting game with the Universe really stinks and sometimes produces emotional side effects such as consistent negative thinking and regret which could lead to us to stagnation, versus the destination we really want. Since I’ve been seeing a lot of this lately, I figured it was time to explore some of the causes and bring solutions to light.

Denial is the number one reason people react poorly to “the waiting game” or as I prefer to put it, divine time. Its main purpose is to trick your mind into believing you are living in one particular space, when in fact you’re nowhere near it. Most of the time it’s us denying the reality of our situation. A lot of us believe we’ve gotten through the letting go process and spiritual detoxification system when we say, ‘I’ve done it. I want my life to start already!  What the hell is taking so long?!?”

If the major changes aren't manifesting in our physical lives, it’s because the work is NOT done, it’s not time and/or there’s something we’ve missed. You think you’ve reached the end, only to realize you’re wrong. That’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. Don’t freak out when this happens as it’s very common. I haven’t seen one person who has made it to the end of a spiritual growth process without relapsing at least three times, myself included.

What is the culprit in a situation like this? It’s that wretched word TIME. It’s wasting your energy holding on to a person, situation and/or dream that’s failed to come to fruition for an extended period of time. It’s also the dwelling on what you don’t have, instead of creating something new and different. Lastly, it’s the lack of faith, not believing what you want is out there and/or placing all your cookies in one person‘s jar, so to speak.

The reason I threw denial into the mix of this “waiting game” is because it’s the biggest obstacle we must conquer to get to the next step. You must be clear about what’s really going on in your mind and heart. Only then will you be equipped to continue the journey and have the Universe believe you’re actually ready to accept change.

This is one of the most emotionally fatal actions some people implement while on the journey of a life change. They actually get to the point where they’ve let go enough for the Universe to deliver and when it does, they DENY their prize. Here we go again with that denial stuff. I’m telling you, that’s the answer here people! Here is one of the most common scenarios I see in the art of sabotage:

So what do you REALLY want out of this? An ending or a new beginning? That’s what the Universe is wondering while you’re tossing contractions out there left and right. It’s as if you’re living this secret code that cannot be deciphered by anyone, let alone the person you’re focused on. In cases like this the answer to that question is usually, “I don’t really love them, I just want them to want me”.   Another harsh reality check, I’m sure, but it’s very true in most of these situations.

I’ve noticed that some folks in the waiting game don’t usually know what they want or are stuck on one floundering situation. Instead of them using this as a vacation spot, they turn it into a permanent address. This would be the Foe Effect. Boy is this a pain in the ass!  It’s easy to get in, but the amenities are never what you thought they would be.  Again, denial is what usually lures one into this mode. 

There are others who place themselves in stagnation knowingly in effort to achieve true clarity and clean up their act. It’s also known as the Friend Effect. After many hard lessons, I’ve now subscribed to the Friend Effect daily and now my life choices have become much easier. Of course, being a member of this club takes a lot more work and struggle, but let me tell you, it’s sooo worth it in the end.  There's nothing wrong with taking time to heal after a relationship has ended or just some alone time to figure out what you really want out of life. 

There’s a simple explanation for those who get what they thought they wanted only to see it fall apart. This section is for everyone, not just the professional saboteurs. If it’s meant to be forever, the Universe will enforce the outcome by putting up blocks to all your walls and tricks. Spirit will help direct the people involved and guide them to the proper destination. This can often be a rocky road, but the end result is still left in tact.

If it doesn’t turn out to be the “end all be all” path, it was probably slated to be a choice to begin with. If it’s a choice then the Universe won’t bother to try and stop you (or your mate) from sabotaging the situation or going elsewhere, they’ll just deliver another, but one that’s in your highest good when your time comes.

Sometimes we’re allowed to put up a fight in relationships to reach our final destination, whether it‘s here to stay or to say goodbye. This occurs when there’s a life lesson being offered up and must be completed before that person can reach the next step on their life path. We’re also allowed to fight for what we truly believe in, especially if our heart and intuition is leading us in a direction that differs from our partner’s ideals. There’s nothing wrong with standing your ground and finding a compromise that suits both parties. It’s another to fight and place blame solely on the other person involved to fuel a power trip or ego gratification. Nothing good comes of that, trust me!

You forget about what you don’t have and let the Universe guide you. It’s easier said than done, but what’s the worst that can happen? You will probably find that letting go and taking that flying leap into the arms of your higher power will relieve you of stress, pain, anger and loneliness. That special someone really does find you when you‘re not psychotically looking for it. When your mind is set to trying new things to better yourself, you put out this massively open energy that shouts, “I’m ready and I’m for real this time!”