I went through the process of letting go so many times in my life and for so many different reasons. I’ve tried working the system using a million methods, but the only one that worked was giving everything up to the Universe, truly believing I will get what I really wanted out of life. In the last entry I described my old self as crazy. That’s because I was pissed off. I told myself that I did all the work the right way, but I was only fooling myself. My belief system wasn’t consistently open and positive, even though I made the effort to create a massive life change.

I think having complete faith in this process, God and the Universe has been the hardest venture I’ve undertaken to date. I still believe that statement even after being thrown into a pre-made family and giving birth to my son. I went from doing whatever the hell I wanted to having a full house, something I thought I never wanted. “Thought” being the operative word here folks. Yes our thoughts carry immense power, but when you add words and actions to the mix, you can end up in a place you didn’t think was possible, good or bad. I begged for change and change is exactly what I got.

“Miracles happen when you stop trying to change what is…”

For most people who feel like they’re stuck in a hole they can’t get out of, manipulation becomes the last resort to finding their way out. Manipulation is a very strong word that usually denotes negative connotation, but it doesn‘t always begin that way. When we’re emotional about someone or something, trying to dictate what will be and how it should be done seems to be the most common, reactive force. Through mine and others‘ personal experiences, I’ve found this method to be extremely unsuccessful.

There’s only so much you can manifest and only so many wishes that can be granted as requested. If we’re not doing something right, the Universe usually steps in to guide us in a direction that will actually produce results that is in our highest good. When we get to the point of no return, having a force we can’t control taking over can feel like the worst thing that’s ever happened to us. I remember feeling this way after I had left my comfortable and seemingly stable life in Michigan, only to realize that I had entered a situation that didn‘t work for me at all. I thought, “Is this all there is for me here? I didn’t sign up for this shit!”

Actually, it was exactly what I signed up for, but it didn’t appear that way at first glance. Ok, not just the first. I believe it took me a lot of reality checks, spiritual ass beatings and a few drinks to soften the blows. After all of that, I finally gave up those guilty feelings of leaving quite a few people behind and said, “Screw it. My new year starts next month and I’m done trying to make things happen.” Believe it or not, that’s all I had to do. I wasn’t giving up, I was waking up to my current reality and leaving all those great expectations at hell‘s gate. A couple of months later I met the man who would change my life forever. For the record, all those people I walked away from were replaced by those who matched my energy, so fear not. All is not lost when you take that route.

I’ve been living here in Ohio for a little over 2 years now. The first 8 months I cleaned out my closets and burned bridges that took up space and could no longer carry me or my dreams. The next 7 months I created new friendships and began a new romantic relationship. I took the remaining 9 months to be pregnant and move in with my man (plus his girls). I also let go of those stupid, lingering issues and prepared for more change. This last month I’ve been falling in love with the life that I thought I never wanted. I guess it really is true: Miracles happen when you stop trying to change what is and just let the Universe deliver the opportunities for happiness.