Don't Fear the Basher....
First off let me say.... I HATE labels, it gives you a false idea that might not be accurate about a someone, it pre-judges and pre-supposes your interaction before it happens. Labeling means you do not take this person as they are, you have already decided what and how your interaction will go. Whether you are optimistic about it or pessimistic about it, you will always be right.
Was I ever a basher? Nah, but I well could have been as could anyone who calls, it is their right. Was I a difficult client? Yes I sure was, I got emotional, and called way too much for way too long so I can relate.
What makes a basher? Bashers don't just happen, they evolve. They start out calling one or two readers, GREAT NEWS! He's your soulmate, he's leaving his wife, he's going to marry you, buy you a ring, and it's MARVELLOUS. It's ALL good until time goes on with not much changing.
And then after a while, he's not acting like your soulmate, he's still with his wife and he aint buying no ring...... So you call more and more, too much in fact, so much that it makes it hard to get an accurate reading, all the while spending more money. It becomes a habit, and yet nothing is happening? Why can that happen? It does happen and that is the problem. There is no one answer to why readings do not manifest. Each case is different. It could be as simple as meddling by the caller in the situation. Someone getting impatient so they manipulate, they cajole, they passive agressively try to control the pace or the relationship. They yell, threaten, they say things they do not mean, and do not follow through...until they are not being taken seriously by the other person. They may have trained their partner to expect them to do all the work and then get MAD when they ARE doing all the work, so easy to happen and harder to undo once done. It's OK to hold back, allow the other person to do SOME of the work. The predictions might not manifest because of someone changing their mind ( I don't know about you but I want to be able to change my mind at any time about anything). It could be as simple as that, no one fits all answer.
I have no idea why the feedback issue evokes such strong emotions. I have thousands of unrated calls, but feedback is not my focus, so I do not ask for it, I find that unprofessional. Normally the bad feedback is more about the caller than the advisor, unless the advisor acted inappropriately during the interaction. I never presume that a few bad feedbacks left by a caller will result in me being left bad feedback being left for me. I also never presume that I will always be right, that is just not possible, I strive for the best reading each time I sign on and I never sign on if I do not feel that I can give my best. So I will take that call, even from someone who has been known to leave bad feedback, and I will do my best to give a good, solid, honest, and accurate reading to the best of my ability. I know that behind the bad feedback may be months or years of pain and I can relate.
Two people will never experience an interaction the same way, does that make either of them wrong? No, it does not but if you pay for something, you have the right to be satisfied with what you have paid for which is so much more difficult with something so difficult to quantify and measure.
I know that it's normally when you have given up the emotional attachment to what you want that it comes, and it comes because you have taken your eye off the kettle (situation) allowing it to boil and that is when it boils ( happens).
The universe has a quirky sense of humor and sometimes things happen in such a way that you could NEVER have forseen, never have guessed and no matter HOW many readings you got, it just did not happen the way you imagined... I suppose I would hate to know everything, it might spoil the fun, spoil you life in ways that if you knew everything it migth change YOU, might change YOUR behavior. Who REALLY knows all the answers, I KNOW that I don't.... my head hurts from all the pondering....
Joan