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Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

Did you ever....

get the same phone call or text from the same person over and over....listen to their complaints about the man/woman they're involved with and yet they go right back at the smallest little thing with no sorting out of the real issues between the two involved.

Did you ever try to help them, try to explain to them that you teach others how to treat you, and yet they still allow the person back into their lives.

Did you ever just finally get tired of hearing the same complaints over and over and no matter how many times they get treated badly by the person they are invovled with,  they take them back, no questions asked because that phone call they obsessed over came, but the real issues remain and have yet to be solved...And then you realize that you just have to listen, no matter how tired you are of hearing it, but they need that advice even if they need to *bake* it for a while.

Unfortunately you only *get it* when you are ready to *get it* no matter how frustrasted you may get with your friends, allow them to learn their lessons in their own time...........and just be there for them.....

Joan

Published Thursday, July 03, 2008 3:57 PM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: Did you ever.... @ Thursday, July 03, 2008 1:18 PM

Solid advice Joan for you never really can decide anything for anyone.  The choice is entirely their own and sometimes unfortunately they never do "get" it and you just have to listen like you advise.  I can see a train wreck coming in the future for some but right now they are not willing to look that far ahead and rightfully so for they should live in the "now" and deal with life in increments.  We learn a lot more that way.  

Thanks for the sharing Joan and I hope you have a joyful safe holiday

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: Did you ever.... @ Thursday, July 03, 2008 4:04 PM

Great post and very true.  I had a girlfriend who was in a bad relationship, with a guy she met on My Space.  She kept complaining how about his roving eye, the fact he lived 400 miles away, and more.  She did NOTHING about him until one day I decided to end the dysfunctional relationship I was having with an unavailable man.  Then, boom, she ended hers as well.  She even got empowered and started school to become a massage therapist.  Me, I left home and traveled across the country.  We do have to do things in our own time.  Thanks for this post!

Kelly

# re: Did you ever.... @ Thursday, July 03, 2008 4:48 PM

Rosie, you are so on, sometimes people do not get it ever and its exhausting to be honest, to have to listen. Now I will confess, I was that girl for a while and some of the people who supposedly gave me *advice* felt more like a whipping and was plain mean spirited, but I did get it in my own time and it helped me end some negative friendships in the meantime.
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: Did you ever.... @ Thursday, July 03, 2008 4:49 PM

Kelly, you are right, we have to choose to learn from our choices, so that we do not have to have the same relationship with a different pair of pants...your comments are so on
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: Did you ever.... @ Friday, July 04, 2008 5:09 PM

Wow!  This is, unfortutaly, the major subject of my callers.  We are going well, but they leave out cerain pertinent info.   They are the victim, but, when truth begins to unfold, they are not a victim at all.  Say they are going as far away a possible from this situation but BAM  they have bamboozed me (or thought they) but I had this 'feeling' that smething was not 'right' in this situation.

Please, just be honest!  We care....whatever you truth is just say so and we can go from there.  

I go nuts on these situations.

Sorry,  have quite a few going on right now....

Be Blessed  Barb

Ancestral Wisdom

# re: Did you ever.... @ Monday, July 07, 2008 10:06 AM

The ability to be honest about a situation only comes when you are ready to ACCEPT what IS rather than what you WANT to be. And that only comes in time and when you have the ability to emotionally seperate yourself. Having been through one doozy myself, I can relate, however I will say that I was not too impressed by the way some so called friends handled it, and I make sure I do not behave like that towards my friends when they are in similiar situations...
joan

DruidsGlenTarot

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