Allowing bad treatment, not good, knowing your value PRICELESS.....
Why are things really simple to *see* for ourselves when we take the emotion out of the equation....and most times it's easier to see for others because we do not have that emotional investment. We do not have the emotional cloud that blinds us and prevents us from seeing clearly through our rose colored glasses.
However most of the times we want things and relationships because they are, appear or act harder to get for us and the things we can *have* easily are not as attractive to us. Why is that ? We probably apply more value to things and situations that make us work harder as if to earn them if that makes sense. It's sort of like the prada and kmart pocket book, I know that I could have many kmart pocket books ( we call them handbags in Ireland ) any day and yet I do not want them, what DO I want? The Prada one.... and when and it's rarely I use it, it goes back into it's special bag and it has more value to me because I had to work hard to get it. And I suppose as a mother it was hard for me to give in and actually buy the gosh darn thing.....but that's a whole other tangent we won't tackle now...
SO when you are in a relationship, try to remember your value and your uniqueness and it is only when we apply that value to ourselves that we get treated in the manner that we deserve to be treated. If we do not value ourselves then how can we possibly expect others to? Somehow, some way people have an instinct to know if we do not know our own value. It's like putting a dog into a room with ten people, the dog will always be able to tell who is afraid of it and somehow is attracted to that very person who is afraid and might not want that dog near them.
Things don't normally start out badly in any relationship, they progress to not being as good because we allow them to. We don't see that at the time until we actually wake up and realize things are not what they once were. And then we wonder, how did this happen? Well easily, patterns are easily formed and harder to break but they can be broken. We just have to know that we cannot change others, what we can do is change ourselves and others are forced to change to deal with us. The hard part of that is that we have to say what we mean and mean what we say, no drama, no ultimatums ( unless we mean them) and boy is THAT the HARD part, and YES this IS work. But it can be done, we only have to see it first, and that's half the issue. But the value of that lesson is priceless to your soul.....
Joan