Boundaries

How to keep healthy boundaries in your relationships

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Name: DruidsGlenTarot
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Actions speak louder than words???

One of the major issues in relationships is when someone's actions do not match their words and most of the time we want to listen to the words because they are saying what we want them to even when the actions are not consistent and or do not match what is being said.

IF someone does not return a phone call or text right away, it has a tendency to send the caller or texter into PANIC mode, and it causes more calls and more texts which causes the person called or texted over and over to pull back more and possibly question the emotional sanity of the over caller or texter. I know that when I am not ready to talk, I do not pick up and or I avoid calling back and if that person calls me several times I get aggravated and feel under more pressure and avoid calling back until I am ready and sometimes it takes me a while to call back especially if I feel uncomfortable for ANY reason with that person.. so LISTEN to the actions as well as the words... But that could just be me?

SO........ the next time someone does not call you back right away, KNOW that person may NOT want to talk to you at that moment, may not want to interact then and give them the space and time to call, text, email when THEY are ready. Do not call a million times, as it will delay them dealing with you... and that is NOT what you want to happen....

Joan

Published Tuesday, October 16, 2007 8:19 AM by DruidsGlenTarot

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# re: Actions speak louder than words??? @ Tuesday, October 16, 2007 11:58 AM

That is sooo true!
I think there may be more added to it. Such as;
When that person fails to call.......say, after a week ? We should maybe toss the sim card out the window and disconnect our house phones, putting them in the trunk of the car (someone elses trunk might be better :) ) After a week, if something disastrous has not happened (involving semi's or trains or meteor showers) and they STILL haven't called, a visit is in order. THEY should be checking on YOU. Besides, who wants the guy who doesn't know how to use a pay phone, you are better off with out him.....or am I talking about me?

jayneC

# re: Actions speak louder than words??? @ Tuesday, October 16, 2007 12:19 PM

If that is a deal breaker for you then you may indeed be better off without him. However I think that it is an individual issue for each person and situation, and sometimes like men are from mars and women are from venus warns, men do enter the cave and if a satisfactory situation is given it is okay to re-consider, like I said, it's all up to the individuals involved...
Joan

DruidsGlenTarot

# re: Actions speak louder than words??? @ Tuesday, October 16, 2007 4:38 PM

Sorry, Joan. I think I was talking to myself. I am one who has been waiting for the phone call...And I can feel myself trying to come up with excuses to get in touch with him..when I know I should just let it go. If he wanted me he would have called by now.

jayne

# re: Actions speak louder than words??? @ Tuesday, October 16, 2007 5:16 PM

I talk to myself all the time :-)
Sometimes it helps to work through issues and see them in an unemotional light. I waited 18 months for a call myself :-( And we have ALL come up with excuses but we are only falsely maintaining something that would fade without our input and effort. And it is best to let it go, to be honest, sometimes letting it go, allows the energy for it to come around when our desire is not so great. And sometimes it's not about not wanting you, so much as not wanting what you want when you want it...sometimes a phone call says so much more than the call itself, I want to try again etc... sometimes we only get things when we do not want them so much :-)
Joan