Thursday, November 15, 2007 9:08 AM
by
Carmen miro
Why do we choose to be empaths?
Occasionally, someone comes along in my life that is not a natural
empath, and they want to know how to do it. What makes some people
more sensitive to emotion than others?
To me the definition of
'natural' would mean this person had an ability to key into people
quicker. I looked into what made some minds more ready to accept and
analyse other people's suffering, and I came up with this:
I
have found though, that mostly, you cannot just 'instruct' someone on
how to care. That would largely depend on the person's moral and
ethical values, their family structure, and their culture. Everyone is
born to care. Infants have empathy, so we are hard wired for it. then
what makes some people more apt to pick up emotion?
It's often
seen as more of an innate need that empaths have developed, in order to
cope with the pain they see in either themselves, or others. I would
partly have to agree with this theory, but then the other side of that
argument would presuppose that people who
are not 'natural empaths' have never suffered.
So
the argument that empaths are more sensitive as a whole is something I
really have to question, as that would mean you would have to suffer to
become an empath.
Contrary to popular notions, it's not always a
traumatic event that creates an empath, though this can be an element
for opening up for some people. Some empaths have stable life
situations, with normal ups and downs, yet they can be extremely
sensitive to other's suffering.
In my opinion, there would be no
reason to think that one type of empathy would be 'superior' than the
other. The definition of empathy is caring with someone, and that can
be created as much through a loving home and heath, as traumatic events.
The
one idea I would like to expound on is this: Does the 'empath' choose
to become an empath, or is it 'thrust' upon them? Do they relinquish
the will, and are they a slave to the emotions of others as well as
themselves? Or do they seek it out? I know I did…
I would have
to say, the key would lie in learning to love oneself, and that
includes being 'too' sensitive. In our society sensitivity is seen as
and unreliable and weak. I would have to say, one could start off by
having an 'Empath Pride' Day or something equally as educational, as I
feel that we should celebrate feeling with each other, not shutting
each other out.
Perhaps empathy has developed in reaction to how
cut off we have become in society. We are bombarded with imagery and a
life of more obvious callousness and violence and through the lack of
real feeling, we desperately seek to connect with mankinds' soul.
I
know and I hear of many empaths, who try to isolate because of the
anxiety that results through interacting with others. Personally, I
would say with me, it's that some of my experiences with people and
anxiety could be due to a biological piece of the puzzle, with anxiety
intensifying and augmenting symptoms( emotion ), and for others, if
they are not centered, this can intensify into a type of social
anxiety. Strangely enough, once this anxiety is mastered, empathy
becomes a blessing, not a curse!
The more sensitive I become,
the more I am apt to jump to conclusions about others... This is in
total contrast to what I am really feeling from them emotionally. This
goes back to the 'bounce back effect', or the effect of amplifying
other's emotions into one's own vision or version of them.
I
would say to those who suffer extreme anxiety as an empath - there are
ways I have learnt to cope. I have learnt to embrace it as a really
great part of myself that celebrates caring for people and I never give
up that there are loving souls like me out there.
I have chosen
to discard the notion that to feel is bad – if society has put that out
there, it's up to me to reject it. I reject not feeling sadness – I
reject not feeling anger – I welcome happiness too! I will brace for
any other pain there is, as long as I can still feel the joy in myself,
as in others.
Why block out beauty? Emotions come with the good
and the bad. I would want to feel something, rather than nothing. I
will learn to manage my perceptions of those people whose energy I feel
around me.
Interesting article about Mind Reading and it's existence in Octobers Psychology Today:
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070830-000002.xml
Copyright Carmen Miro 2007