Carmen's Mirror

I have had a couple of hard knocks on my quest to-be-the-perfect-psychic-learning curve. Occasionally I admit I tend to see more bad endings than good, making me more prone to expecting yet more break ups. I guess maybe, you could make the assumption, from my posts, that I could be relationship shy from time to time, and in the very least, healthily bitter.

When I have called readers it happened to me too. I called a reader once who had always been  fantastic but  she got the outcome (a break up) wrong – she was a great reader in all other respects, but she admitted to me she had heard so much bad news, and our relationship had already hit the skids, so she had not looked out for more obvious changes and signs, and had missed the break up.

I am a bit on the opposite on that, I sometimes see endings around me because most people come to me at the end of their relationships. I am aware of that, and recent events in my life have taught me people do change…people do ‘come back’. (More on that after I come back from Africa in January).

A good example of a caring bias a psychic will employ is best illustrated by my story about ‘N’, my unnamed client. When her fiancée and her broke up she coaxed a predictive reading out of me (as you all know, I prefer not foretell the future). In the reading, a ‘blip’ came up in my spread, which showed contact from her ex.

For weeks after the break up, we discussed what that blip could be. Was it 'reconnection'?

Or just contact? Why did I see that? Did I see that? And if so, would that mean they could become a couple again? Even though I saw that he was going to reconnect with her, I was adamant it was ‘nothing’. I downplayed it completely, because in my mind, he was still not going to give her what she deserved, even if he wanted her back.

I remember once a good client told me, how much it had hurt her that she had been told by me there would be a ‘reconnection’ – which I took as another meeting – maybe a possibility – but she took it if they were getting back together. So I had to learn to rephrase some of my words.  I was told that by my poor choice of words, I had hurt her very much, as she had expected, that meeting up with him again, was ‘the it’ in their relationship. She did meet up with him again, but it was not him 'coming forward'. Since then I have been extremely cautious about giving predictions on ‘reconnections’.

Now that he has contacted N, she still is holding out. She has come to the conclusion that he probably wouldn’t be able to go back to her as the man she knew – but that too much had changed. and that indeed, this reconnection was her decision to put off.

I felt good about this, because had I groomed her to expect a big romantic reconnection, she may have obsessed more, maybe to the point of sabotaging the relationship (dear N, this is not personal, it’s anecdotal) and would not have had the clear perspective she has now.

I know that the way I work, I tend to stray more to the realistic, and some call it, the negative side of readings. I would much rather have a reader give me bad news, than good news, as I too have been let down by falsely interpreted information. If I am not sure about the outcome, I will tell my client.

Last week I did get constructive criticism again about being ‘too negative’. Apparently, in the 4-minute conversation I had with my client, I had not pointed out enough of his 'good points’.

I don't understand that argument, as I would want to call a reader to pre-empt any problems, not to reiterate the fluffy stuff I know.  I have been told I am ‘too negative’ at times, but at other times, I have received immense gratitude at my being honest in what I see.

So if I tell you it’s not going well – it’s only in the moment. I know your guys are honeys –  I really do. I also know most of us are dating train-wrecks with a load of honey. We all date losers at some point in our lives. There is NOTHING wrong with that!

Advisors are people who hear what your girlfriend doesn't tell you about her perfect relationship, because she doesn't want you to know the truth. As advisors, we know relationships are often very challenging, and are never as good as they sound to others.

This is inspired by all those clients, who felt I was being negative. And this is in gratitude to my clients like N, who have let their situations develop, and try and listen to what's behind the bad news message and not walk away without solving the problem.

We should all admit we are not perfect, and none of us should be pointing fingers, least of all me, La Principessa di Amore Morta!  How do you think I get this right with some of you?

Yes, there is a generous  heaping helping of psychic element, but good ole experience, accounts for a fair bit of my intuition. I think a good advisor will have been through everything you have been through, and that can be like having someone looking over your shoulder.