Wednesday, May 23, 2007 4:11 PM
by
Carmen miro
Linking the Web of Humanity - why compassion wont make you suffer
What I have enjoyed most about being an empath is that I
have begun to understand some of the human condition. I used to distrust people's motives , so it was easier to fall into seclusion that way. Many
people do this..they will rather isolate themselves from the partner or friend
if presented a problem that hurts them.
Why do we pull away when something is going wrong? Once
again, apart from grief issues, we are still perceiving the relationship on a
bias. This comes from deeply rooted family issues or complex personality traits. As we
usually perceive relationships on a bias, the person expects that the person who hurts them is
fulfilling that bias or in other words ‘ they take it to heart’.
I have found that we all have similar issues, similar fears,
and the same strange behaviours that seem to make us feel like we are unique or
alone in a world of dissimilar personalities. This type of isolation can make
for many relationship issues and problems in our world.
What I have found though, is opening up to empathy is healing in terms of being able to see the child in people. Most people are
good….most have good sides, and I tend to see the better side in people. The only
difference in being able to make good choices with people is this:
Good people and bad people have long term and short term
goals. Maybe the person who may may not allow for the path in a relationship is someone with a short-term
goal with you…as opposed to the person who may consider you, but have a long-term
plan.
So to me, a friend I would choose would be someone who is
right now in his or her life path both loving and kind and motivated to change themselves
as circumstances change.
I will feel caution towards people who are loving and kind but
unmotivated for change - my reasoning behind that is they can sometimes change their mind at the drop of a hat and
thus unknowingly cause heartache.
The world is made up of a patchwork of people who want love.
Even in the energy of a person who has done bad things, I can pick up the energy
of a child, still loving and sweet.
I tend to feel now a much bigger peace with world issues,
and complete strangers delight me. I have an ease in my way with people,
because I understand and feel they have the same issues as I do. I do not feel isolated in a
sea of feelings, I can connect with and draw people's energy, and never feel alone. I now
have even more compassion for suffering because I have experienced it, and I
understand now what drives others to behave how they do under the same stresses.
I can be kind to, but I don’t
have to choose to be with any person who does not hold to or understand their path. If on any occasion, that person develops a self awareness and a plan and then I would welcome them into my life.
A grounded empath learns about their boundaries, as they
are very important in for manoeuvring the empath through relationships.
We are all one. Isn’t that wonderful?
Copyright 2007 Carmen Miro