I originally posted this blog in March 2008. I've been reading recently that this behavior has escalated significantly not only here in Dallas, but across the Country. I took everyone's advice and enrolled Monica into a Martial Arts class. In addition, I had the boys that were bullying her provide "community service" by conducting anti-bullying assemblies at their school. This has proven quite effective as the boys no longer toss people for their lunch money, but have "patrolled" the school campuses to prevent any such incident from occurring while they are there.
These boys have really matured since this happened this Spring and I applaud their efforts .
School Districts around the Country have "No Tolerance" guidelines and Police have been called to enforce it. Often times for the Senior High School Student, this will become a criminal report and can deter them from entering into colleges and universities.
I keep the students that are bullied and their parents in my prayers.
Here's what happened to my Angel, Monica just 8 months ago.........
Yesterday was very hectic for us. We arose earlier than usual to get everyone ready to go back to school; drop my brother off at the airport, and get back to wait for the plumber to come and fix the water leak that occurred in the sprinkler system and has the front yard mosquito infested.
My youngest daughter, Monica has severe ADHD and as a result, some learning challenges. She is enrolled in the Learning Support Program and has been doing extremely well with the exception of social skills and money. I have her on a program to teach her about the importance of money......respect it, earn it, save it, purchase things that we need then want. When I give her money to pay for her meals at school, she is to take it right away to Ms. Jackson, the head of the cafeteria. Ms Jackson puts it in Monica's account so she can buy breakfast, if she wishes, and then lunch. And every Friday, because she has worked very hard, she is able to buy her favorite dessert...ice cream. I felt she was doing well....I was wrong.
During the Easter break, Monica has asked for mechanical pencils. I inadvertently forgot to give her the ones I bought during the summer, so she went to school without a pencil.
I picked her up from her after-school prgram and announced that she had to buy pencils at the school store. I asked where she got the money to do so and she replied she used her cafeteria money. I became angry and asked why she did that and apologized because I forgot to put the pencils in her book-bag, but reminded her what that money is to be used for. I then asked where the change was from her buying the pencils. It was my hope to have her deposit the remainder of her shopping trip to the school store, into her meal account this morning.
All of a sudden she began to cry uncontrollably. I felt it a little overboard and asked why the tears and outburst. She was inconsolable. I asked her brother, Brandon to find out why she crying so. Brandon and Monica have such a bond that, at times, Monica tells Brandon more than she tells me; so I used that to get the information I needed.
What she told Brandon made me so enraged, I had to walk away and cool down before I could rationally make my next steps..................................................................................
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There is a boy at school that has been forcing Monica to give him her lunch money for two purposes: 1. To keep him from beating her up and buy his friendship and 2. to buy protection from his friends so they don't assault her either. So far, this 10 year old kid has tossed my little girl for about $100.00. I must interject here that every two weeks like clock-work, give Monica enough to keep her account fluid.
Because Monica has difficulty perceiving time and numbers, it is hard to ascertain exactly when this bully started extorting her.
Now I also must tell you, this highly recognized school has earned numerous awards from the State of Texas for its curriculum and programs to prevent bullying from taking place. And what made me go ballistic is the fact that this kid's parents are active members of the PTA and highly respected in the community. This family is affluent and quite comfortable. Mom drives a Lexus and is a stay at home Mom. Dad drops Aaron off each morning in his Jaguar before going off to his very successful law firm. They live in a mini mansion with in-ground pool, tennis courts, etc., and vacationed in the Bahamas for Easter break. Aaron and his family returned tanned and refreshed.... Aaron returned to his extorting immediately upon school re-opening yesterday.
I understand bullying has no socio-economic barriers...I wanted to stress this kid really has no reason to steal money from others. I can safely conclude this child's needs are not being met somewhere and has acted out in this fashion, BUT....right now, I am so angry that he picked out my child to stage his reign of terror on/with that I cannot be objective enough to reason right now.
For two hours last night, my daughter BEGGED, PLEADED, SCREAMED at me not to say anything because she was afraid of what might happen to her if this got out. My heart broke and ached so hard, I really thought it would explode ( I know it can't but it felt just like that). I held back my tears as much as I could and waited till she finally fell asleep to scream and cry into my pillow.
I sent an e-mail to Monica's and Aaron's teachers and the Prinicpal strongly requesting a meeting and advising them Aaron's behavior was unacceptable and I wanted restitution and punishment. I recommended Aaron pay all of the money back and he himself MUST do a program on bullying from personal experience. I don't mince words....especially when it comes to my kids.
At this moment, I am facing one of the worst fears a parent can face....The School Yard Bully. While we talk to our children about what to do should this scenario arise, we really don't know what do to until it slaps us dead in the face and gives us a reality check.
I have not yet heard back from any of them. My anger is in check so I can objectively state my concerns. AND I will get a satisfactory resolution.
Give your kids an extra hug tonight. You can't chase away the bullies, or the "bad people"; BUT you CAN tell them you Love them and let them know you're there to fight for them.
Enjoy your day.
Cheryl