Fear of rejection / abandonment ... is a difficult fear to have. It makes you act in ways, almost unintentionally selfish ways... because its self-protective and gives more weight to protecting the self from getting hurt than it does to how another might be benefited. It can make one passive aggressive and self-sabotaging ... as so many locked in needs and emotions demand a voice or some sort of validation. It's usually caused from feeling deep pain though ... and usually sets you up for the very thing you fear because you push people away. Problem is, pushing people away before they can reject you never heals the pain or prevents it. It seems to only cause more pain and an additional feeling of inner failure in one's core... This lost feeling inside oneself that who are you if not loved or esteemed by someone else... but at the same time all those questions come to mind of "did he know how I felt?", "did I extend myself?" etc etc. You feel lost if you never knew because you maybe didn't risk or try...

Fear of rejection/ abandoment, keeps one locked up in a tower inside oneself. Fearing to express oneself lest what one says/feels is not liked... fearing to confront what needs to be confronted and not denied.... fear of asking questions, finding out anothers intentions ... fear of just being authentic, having weaknesses, faults and just being... all for fear such efforts will leave one left behind... Is not an easy cage to be held in...

Possibly, all one can do is embrace oneself and others the best one can and strive to step by step overcome the fear that is self-manifesting in itself. Maybe the trick and only way out is through... by allowing rejection...while going back to healing the source and any past traumas where one has felt abandoned and rejection.... though hopefully steps are implemented a little at a time and with patience so is not so overwhelming.... such as taking small steps each day to risk being vulnerable, to risk feeling rejected and to still put ones authentic self and emotions forward, to face that even if one has been abandoned in the past, one is still whole and lovable. Maybe just starting with one small act of being more authentic no matter how scarey.

For, the bravest act for one with fear of abandonment, is to allow the closeness (for fear of intimacy can be closely attached) and open ones heart little by little, and risk to allow oneself to be hurt, that someone else might not love you as you love them, and to give of yourself anyways, rather than causing pain to the other in running away or confusion to a relationship by never expressing or saying things one needs to say... kindly and humanely of course.

Writing is always a good outlet as well that can help. Sometimes, the use of tools like EFT or energy medicine techniques (holding the trauma in the mind while holding certain meridian/accupressure points)... can be of great help too.