Being Right is Overrated
Let’s face it, most of us enjoy being right. In fact, many times we are elated when we can prove that we are right! Therefore I am not surprised when those who contact me with relationship issues believe themselves to be the in the right.
More often than not, these clients believe if only their partner could view things from their perspective there would no longer be any conflicting issues in the relationship.
While its possible that their partner is behaving badly or has an unhealthy attitude that is sabotaging the relationship. However, the fact is, that it doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong. The concept of being ‘in the right’ is flawed.
Pointing fingers and making accusations creates a situation where neither party is taking responsibility for the situation. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to facilitate change when a person is in attack mode. When a person is being attacked he/she will either attack back or withdraw. Either method does not resolve issues.
In order to serve themselves and the relationship better, couples need to give up the idea of ‘being right’ and stop trying to convince their partners of their wrongdoings.
It’s more effective to see the issue as something both parties contribute to. Not only are there two sides to every story, every story has a variety of ways it can be viewed. When couples look for alternative ways of seeing those issues together, they begin to develop a different, enlightened, shared perspective.
After all, relationships are about the idea that together we create more than simply our combined effort - we achieve awareness that on our own we would never have developed.
Surly creating more together is better than being right…don’t you think?
Melody “Lil Mel”
Melody "Lil Mel" McGowan
Life Coach, Author, & Professional Advisor
Let Your Heart Heal Life Coaching
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